Almost 3 months finding out. Should I stay?
I’m trying to summarize because There’s a lot of details I can go into later. I thought I saw a message on my wife’s phone with hearts. She swore she was talking to someone else. About a month later I saw her Apple Watch she never uses and decides to plug it in. It was at 20% already so I unlocked it and saw 8 messages when we hadn’t talked that much that day. I open it up and see a number(no name) and messages such as "going to my ex house" "I love you" "I can’t wait to see you" and other names like "baby" and "babe" which we used in text. When I confronted her she was upset I looked at her watch but then showed me she deleted the contact. To sum up I found out she had secret Snapchat accounts and was talking to guys on PlayStation and would message them and add them on this secret Snapchat. I was able to log in and saw she was still talking to the same guy she deleted the text on Snapchat. We were sleeping in the same room but since I found out we now sleep in difference rooms. She told me she lost love and feelings for me a long time ago. I went on our phone account and saw for over a year there’s hundreds of texts and thousands of minutes to multiple different numbers. I noticed November 2020 that she started to play games at night and would continue into the morning. Would sometimes sleep on our couch(a lot actually) and be playing when I came home around 11 at night from work. I always thought it was depression or something and she just enjoyed playing games but realize now that was her time to talk to guys. From what I gathered(from Snapchat chats) there’s been at least 4-5 guys in about 3 month waves that she will talk to. Get real sexual with. Assuming send nudes and such which from what I could read. And towards the end, she would end the relationship if things got bad. Pretty much blaming the other guy. These guys are Early 20s and she’s almost 30. They only know she’s "separated with 3 kids and we don’t talk" but that didn’t become a reality until I find out. We actually still hangout all the time and do everything. The main difference now is she wants to just be good parents for our kids. Says we are separated. Doesn’t know if feelings could ever come back. Continues to play games with this guy and a group at night. (Not every night now though) but goes on the phone and talk for hundreds of minutes at night. She says she just falls asleep but sadly I’ve heard her talking late into the night/early morning. She’s a stay at home mom and has been since she was 19. Never worked a day but I provide so she can be a stay at home mom for our kids. Am I being too nice? Should I change anything? The feelings were strong recently and I contacted the guy she’s "with". From what I seen she’s known him on PlayStation since Jan 2021 but became a couple November 2021. She tells me it’s all emotional and she can end it whenever she wants but it’s "fun and exciting for her and gives her happiness. Even if it’s fake happiness. But wants to find out if it’s fake happiness". When I contacted him I just said he was being played and that she’s still with her husband and he should leave her alone. He said he just wanted to contact her one more time and I said that he shouldn’t and just leave it alone. I still see her massaging at times and she said she’s still talking to him and so I’m wondering if it’s even worth us staying for the kids.
39 comments posted: Friday, April 29th, 2022