Newest Member: Issyibbitt


BS - over 40
DivorcED, finally.
2 Kids

When Karma shows up, may you not even care

Karma comes slower sometimes, but eventually the natural consequences sneak up. You might surprise yourself with how you feel about it.

Without getting too deep into my history, a bunch of years back, the ex and I were supposed to split. The economy collapsed, he got laid off (and thus had time to start up with the OW he’s now married to), and I the responsible bill-payer got into trouble with the mortgage. Eventually got it all resolved, and once we split for good, I realized just how much of a money-sink he’d been even when working, which made the near-miss on foreclosure make so much more sense to me. I’d been running from fire to fire, never able to get ahead, and once he was gone, being able to sit down and actually track everything, I whipped myself into much better shape almost immediately.

He went into an apartment, from there a rental house, and about 3 or 4 years ago, seemed to finally figure out how to adult (he makes more than me) and bought a house. I was happy for my kids’ sake (even though they’re adults now) that he seemed to be sorting himself out some. We’ve had minimal contact for years, as my youngest is nearly finished college now, so there’s texting a couple times a year maybe, over birthday and Christmas gifts and plans and such.

Guess who got in touch to ask me what I did, what happens, when you get into trouble with the mortgage. AFAIK he’s still working, and there could be any number of factors that led them there and I simply don’t have any insight to his life anymore to know. There’s a small part of me that feels a bit schadenfreude-y about it, but surprisingly, the larger part of me is equal parts “meh” and pity. I’ve known for years that I was mostly healed and don’t care much anymore, aside from mild irritation that I have to talk to him when I see him come up on texts. But the pity really took me by surprise – I realized that I’m just sad for him that he still lives this way when he doesn’t have to.

Who knew that recognizing that I’m fully healed means being able to just shake my head sadly, feel a little pity, and comment “what a shame” and move on with my day. It’s a great place to be and I highly recommend it.

4 comments posted: Wednesday, August 10th, 2022

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