Newest Member: itspointless

mommabear1010

Dday- 1/19/22
Trickle truth
Dday2- 2/8/22
Dday3- 3/10/22
Divorcing

Random Questions for Single Parents

So I currently have an income generating website and toying with the idea of starting another to have another potential income source. Since I'll be a single mom starting next week I figured this may be a good niche for me to try and develop some content for.

If you're a single parent, what types of things would you search for on Google/Pinterest...or what types of things do you like to see content for? Things like:
Activities
Recipes/Things to make with kids
Decorating
Alone time activities (when children are with other parent)
Grocery shopping/budgeting food costs

Just trying to get some ideas for what content I can make to help.

I know for me I've been searching for:
Small space decorating, themed rooms for girls like "unicorn bedroom"
Easy make ahead breakfasts and lunches
Cheap/free kid activities
At home pre-school ideas

6 comments posted: Thursday, June 30th, 2022

If your WS started a relationship with the AP after separation

I move out with my daughter next week. Our custody agreement is notarized, just need to submit with the divorce request but we both signed and I can breathe a big sigh of relief there.

So one of the sections states we are not to introduce a romantic partner to our daughter until the relationship has been exclusive for at least 6 months, and you've given your ex the opportunity to meet this person.

I know WH is still seeing the AP when he can and still keeps on most likely still has daily communication from a burner phone at work. They've had this ongoing "relationship" since December which I am a little shocked he's been with her this long and he hasn't discarded her. Anyway, I'm dreading what if he makes that 6 month monogamous requirement (and I get to meet her laugh ) and our daughter actually meets this vile woman.

How did you handle the emotional stress if your child has had to meet the AP?? Of course this could never come into reality and could be all my mental games. Part of me is scared he'll do it just to make me sad and angry. I seriously would crumble to think of this woman interacting with my child.

5 comments posted: Thursday, June 30th, 2022

Things Narcs Say

Taken from a phone call with WH this morning.

"I'm going to starve! I can't cook when I get home from work and can't afford takeout everyday"

"Your family is going to think I'm a cheating monster, they won't know the full story!"

"Your pride was the problem, you're tit for tat, you couldn't just give me what I wanted." (sex on demand basically)

"I'm being forced to separate, I didn't want this!"

I'm scared because we haven't signed the divorce/custody mediation yet. What if he changes and decides he's not going to sign the custody agreement? I just want this to end already it's exhausting dealing with the ups and downs. I'm scared as my moveout gets closer and closer and more changes happen he's going to escalate and retaliate.

11 comments posted: Monday, June 13th, 2022

Why can't I just accept not getting the truth

This is probably more of a vent. But argh why am I like this duh .

WH still says to be "you're the only one I want" "I want to be faithful to you"...meanwhile on Friday he was with AP. He comes home from being with AP and is all "let's go out to dinner as a family!" the next morning our daughter had a sporting event and he comes with and puts his arm around me like he's some kind of loving husband.

I want him to know so that I know where he was....but holding back because I don't want to reveal I checked the phone records and the toll booth records that morning. Plus, we're still in custody mediation and I don't want anything to blow up in my face.

I'm just....I can't STAND the knowing he is with AP and him thinking I believe his BS of "I'm not with anyone, I want you!!"

16 comments posted: Wednesday, June 8th, 2022

Guilt of not being able to forgive

As my move out date gets closer, I'm really struggling with the guilt and anger that my WH affairs has brought all of this into reality.

With all of the life-changing transitions on the horizon, I'm just fuming that it feels like it's my fault. I'm the one that can't forgive him, I'm the one that just cannot get over the years of infidelity and multiple physical affairs, I'm the one that can't live with a man I have no respect for anymore. And because of all that I'm the one giving my daughter divorced parents, if she asks for him during the week it's because of me she's not seeing him.

I'm so angry at him for being this way and not being a faithful husband. From DDay1 my main source of anger to him was how dare you make my reality the one where I have to choose. And when I think of how sad and empty I feel about this I have to think about how callous he was during his affairs. When he was getting oral from a woman at work was he thinking he could lose his family? When he left us the day after Christmas to spend ALL DAY with a different woman in a hotel was he thinking of not seeing his daughter everyday anymore?

20 comments posted: Wednesday, May 18th, 2022

Extra Income

In July I'll be on my own again, single mom life with my toddler. I can afford my living expenses, but there won't be much left after that to build an emergency savings or plan for a small vacation once a year.

Anyone find any virtual side business work that brought in some extra $$? Like UpWork, virtual assistant type stuff and have some success?

6 comments posted: Tuesday, April 26th, 2022

Would you message this AP or no?

So in another DDay recently, I found that back in late 2016 WH was sending dick pics and receiving explicit photos from a long-time female friend of his. I never met this woman in person, but she followed me on IG and responded to my stories a handful of times. Discovering these photos now is boiling my blood, and naturally I have the urge to message her just like a "FYI eventually this stuff gets discovered". Idk even know if she uses IG still.

I'm guessing the recommendation will be to let it go.... but it's taking so much restraint not to say something...especially because during this time WH and I were trying to conceive and meanwhile he's going back and forth with her with dirty photos. barf

9 comments posted: Saturday, April 2nd, 2022

Probably a serial cheater, looking to find peace

I had posted my original story on JFO last month, I think I was getting confused with another posted who also has mommabear in the name so I took a step back from posting for a bit.

Figured I'd jump over here now. A brief summary:

-Had found out WH was having an affair with someone from work. Had been using weekends to stay with her in hotels. Spoke in Spanish together so he could even carry on conversations with her in the next room and I assumed it was his mom.

-After I confronted him I used his old cell phone that linked to his current phone to see he was searching for hourly motels near his job, and was using Google translate to talk to her through text....they were talking about taking a day off of work and she was jealous that I now had him on the weekends when that was "her time".

After that most recent DDay where I saw he had not gone NC I knew I was done, but was so paralyzed by fear, shock, everything I didn't know how to take the next steps I knew I needed to do. I still checked the old phone all day, waiting for the next slip up that would be the 2x4 I needed. Which brings me to last week...

I went into his deleted photos and found he accidentally took a screenshot of a video he was watching...the video I could tell was from his phone and it was of a woman performing oral. Date on the video was Feb 2021 crying Horrified, I scroll all the way back to his videos from Feb 2021 and there it was....2 videos he took of a woman performing oral on him. And the realization that the screenshot only happened because he was WATCHING the video last week. He must watch this video all the time for gratification barf

I confronted him that night and said divorce is the only option. I won't reconcile and I don't want to. To be honest, the sense of relief I got after that conversation was liberating. He was distraught, crying, fearful of the future. We are being amicable as I plan my next steps over the next few months to move out. We have a toddler and I want to make the transition as smooth and organized as possible.

I'm sure many of you can relate how scary it is to look at your spouse and think "did I ever really know you?"

In my heart, I believe he probably had been unfaithful countless times. The boldness of recording the cheating and I believe based on background noises that this happened at his job duh

9 comments posted: Saturday, March 19th, 2022

Did your WS cry?

Just thinking, when I confronted WH and even during the multitude of arguments we've had over the last 3+ weeks I've never seen him cry. Even if I'm balling my eyes out, threating to leave etc. Idk, did you WS ever cry about everything? About potentially losing the marriage, the pain they caused?

43 comments posted: Thursday, February 17th, 2022

Still reeling and new discoveries

My DDay was nearly 3 weeks ago and the trickle truths and new discoveries keep coming.

First major discovery was my WH met with the OW at a hotel on a night I was at my moms with our daughter (OW is someone he met at work, different departments but same company). I could see through phone records the conversations had been going on about a month. He was even bold enough to carry on a phone conversation with her in the next room and since he speaks Spanish and I don't they could converse openly and he told me it was his mom.


Now yesterday I found an old phone of his and turned it on, website history synced to his current phone he's using and I could see that about 4 days after DDay he was searching for hourly motels near his job (his answer to this is he was searching for us for like a meetup during the day as a spicy role play)....this doesn't make sense as I work from home with our toddler all day, and only have 1 day a week where I have help.

I also could see thru history all of his Google translations (OW speaks only Spanish, WH speaks Spanish but needs translator to read/write it). There were two sexual translations in question from the last few days....his response is he was helping a friend translate. He's also saying that she is messaging a coworker and the coworker shows him the messages (don't believe this I think they were using whatsapp or something that won't go on a phone record because in is search history he searched if WhatsApp shows on a phone bill)

I'm just in a fog. I feel like the writing is clear on the wall and he's telling me not to believe what is there.

Thanks for reading, needed to get this out since I can't share with people who know me :(

34 comments posted: Friday, February 11th, 2022

Long shot, anyone have a non conventional custody arrangements?

This is probably me just wishful thinking…

The one thing right now that my WH and I have in common is we both love our daughter and want her in our life everyday (she’s 4). The thought of me not seeing her for a weekend or not having her in my care kills me. And also the thought of her not seeing her daddy everyday I know would affect her.

Does anyone have any arrangements such as you and your ex moved close to each other, like rented apartments in same complex? Or something where each parent could see your child everyday even though they reside primarily at one location.

7 comments posted: Wednesday, February 9th, 2022

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