Newest Member: bluebirdoffury

MumaBear1978

Legal questions

Hi everyone,

I have an appt with legal aid next week. I have no idea where to start.

WH moved out on 13 May and you have to be separated for at least 12 months in Australia before you can legally file for divorce (not sure if it’s the same in US/UK?).

I’d love some suggestions on things to ask, or things you wished you knew about, early on in this whole divorce mess. WH said he would continue paying the bills and the mortgage when he moved out but I can’t count on him doing that for long. He’s made many promises and broke every single one so I can’t trust anything he says anymore.

Obv my main concern is what is going to happen to our house if he decides to stop paying. And what exactly I’m entitled to when we do divorce. I know I’d get some form of child support for our 14 yr old but our 19 yr old still lives at home and even though he pays for some things (his phone bill, car rego/insurance, petrol, etc) I still pay for everything else.

I currently work part time but I don’t earn enough to cover our mortgage, bills, groceries, etc by myself.

4 comments posted: Friday, September 9th, 2022

Father’s Day

Hi everyone,
I’ve been quietly getting on with this new normal. It’s been 7 months since dday and 3.5 months since WH moved out.

Today in Australia is Father’s Day. I always knew it was going to be a tough day for us.

My boys stayed overnight at WHs new apartment (only the second time they’ve slept over). They went for dinner and had breakfast with him this morning and then headed home around lunchtime.
I actually broke my sobriety last night. I stupidly didn’t eat dinner and just drank wine from 5pm until I started vomiting, around 8.30pm. I had a shower and climbed into bed feeling pretty disgusted with myself. I woke up this morning feeling absolutely horrible.

Usually in the afternoons of Father’s Day/Mother’s Day we head over to my parents place to get together for dinner with my brother and sister and their families. We had planned to go but this afternoon my eldest (19) asked if we could not go- he didn’t feel up to celebrating Father’s Day when his dad isn’t there. He broke down crying and my heart broke all over again for him.

I quickly dropped over just to give dad a hug and his gift and apologised for not staying for dinner. Of course everyone was disappointed the boys weren’t with me but they understood why.

I hate WH for putting the boys through this. I hate that he broke up our family. I hate that he lied to us for so long. I hate that I don’t feel comfortable in my house anymore. I hate that I still see him everywhere even though I tried to remove every trace of him. I can’t sit in the lounge room alone unless the boys are home. I can’t sit outside because it makes me think of sitting out there with him.
If I’m home alone, I’m in my room because it’s the only place I feel ok. I moved all the furniture around but I still hate that I’m left sleeping in "our" bed while he has a whole new environment to live in where he isn’t faced with memories of us every fucking day.

This is so hard. I have some days where I barely think of him but today is just shit.

7 comments posted: Monday, September 5th, 2022

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