Kinda lost

I'm not sure if I'm in the right forum...

I am married 29 years. In 2019 my life was becoming more and more stressful. I have 5 children with the same woman. The communication in my marriage completely broke down. I isolated myself more and more until I was completely alone. Completely alone...

I was contacted by a former overseas colleague. We hadn't spoken in 14 years. She just randomly e-mailed me. We proceeded to text, e-mail and occasionally talk on the phone. We became very close even though we never actually met face to face. One day she suddenly ended everything. i was really hurt. But she came back to me a week later. Same thing happen 6 months later. This time when she came back I told her no. I ignored her e-mails for a couple of months. She than had a crisis with her son and said I was the only one she could speak to. it started again. No physical contact. Just texts, e-mails, phones call, voice mails. Everything was good for a year. We just supported eachother emotionally and always tried to lift eachother up. In the last 6 months she answered less and ignored some questions i would ask and really wasn't interacting with me. Last week I told her it's best we part ways. That's it. That's my big affair. I am hurt and sad. I try to focus on the positive. I lost alot of weight, I'm in great shape. i ran 7 miles two weeeks ago on the off road trails. I eat right. I completely bought a new wardrobe. I saved some money. I revivied my socail life. I also brought my wife into my social life with old friends.

I'm having trouble moving on. I know she is thousands of mile away. But with the technology it is possible to be connected to someone.

i know many people on here are hurt and I am viewed as a scoundral.I accept that. Just looking for some advice to help me get through the anxiety. I'm ok. But my mind feeds me only good memories. Most are old. It's a constant battle to remind myself I was not happy. The mind is a messed up thing and hard to tame.

26 comments posted: Friday, December 17th, 2021