What do I do now?
For the past couple of years my marriage to my wife has been on the rocks. We argue, disagree and never resolve conflict. I'm no angel in this matter, I do a terrible job managing emotions during arguments. A few months ago we had a bad blow up, and I grabbed her. Since that time she has stonewalled me and now tells me there is no emotional connection and will not have sex with me. Weekends usually consist of her taking our kids and going to the beach at her mothers. Sex was OK, and we were having sex once a week for a while. Now we have lost all connection. This drove me crazy, how can she tell me she has no emotional connection and tell me sex feels forced?
I ended up checking her laptop and Google Photos account. The deleted folder was full of kissy face selfies, nudes taken in our house, and also upskirt shots while she is out driving in her car. NONE of these were sent to me. I confronted her about it, demanded access to her phone (Which she has had private from me for a long time) She stated the pics make her feel sexy, and she was thinking about sending them to me.
She uses the Signal app for messaging, which deletes messages, but I can see in the app usage statistics that she is using it 100 times a day. (Sometimes when she was taking nudes, and telling me she had no emotional connection to me) She states she uses it for work. Everything I confront her about, she has a lie that makes me out to be a lunatic. I ended up getting her to delete the Signal app, but she immediately installed it a day later, and she obliged my request to share phone locations. I work from home, so I don't travel outside of our home for work.
Today, I confronted her about a parking receipt I found in her purse. It was for a hotel that she does not travel to for work. I asked her to show me her credit card statement, as she did not have any corresponding expense reports for this hotel. She told me 15 lies to get around being honest to me about that day at the hotel. There was a charge for $207.50 that cleared 3 days after the date of the parking pass. She still told lies and would not tell me the truth about the charges. Work related, food, etc. I continued to ask her about it and she told many more lies. I took charge, and called the hotel, and got an invoice. Sure enough, it was a room reservation. I immediately confronted my wife, and she fessed up that she was so distraught after our last fight that she was feeling horny, went to a room and pleasured herself. I don't believe this for one second.
Everything she says is projecting blame on me, (again I'm no Angel here) and now she wants to separate so she can have time to herself. I did recommend R so we can at least have a therapist help us through that part and help determine if things are too far gone, but she wants me to work on getting marriage counseling, while she works on a month rental for us to share time between.
AM I AN IDIOT OR WHAT? I don't believe any of her excuses and lies... Help.
147 comments posted: Saturday, September 25th, 2021