Newest Member: Imthecheater


Porn destroyed my marriage/family

Hello all, This is my first post! Looking forward to becoming an active member of this community. Thank you all for welcoming me here.

I am so exhausted from being blamed for my insecurities regarding my husband’s Porn addiction issue and being lied to repeatedly and consistently for years about this subject. The pain has been unbearable and course, this addiction had destroyed my foundational trust for my spouse and the relationship on whole. Everytime I introduced the topic, i was gaslit because he thinks that he is entitled to watch it all day everyday while completely disregarding my emotions and perspective on the subject. He knew my thoughts and interpretation of porn from day one, so if he wasn’t intending to stop this daily habit, why would he even commit to me initially and then stay? It seems like he wants his cake and to eat it too, but ive given him the ultimatum several times-porn or i. He blames me for snooping and for seeking out evidence, again, blaming the separation on my apparent insecurities and trust issues, rather than taking ownership for his part in this.

He wants me to turn a blind eye to it all or to find a woman who will not snoop and search and who will believe the lies he tells himself. Ive asked him to remove triggers & sexual apps and he refuses.

The person behind the curtains aka the PA (porn addict) is his real identity period. Can you relate and how did you persevere through it? My spouse apparently watches porn everywhere but specifically and most commonly at work during the day and when he enters the office after hours or on weekends, (perhaps in his own office or in the bathroom i am not entirely sure). This seems extreme to me, and of course, i am attacked, gaslit, and called a mistrusting psycho everytime I discover daily his porn use and he then proceeds to blame me for actively looking for evidence that he lies about the subject which he clearly does. I wouldn’t feel the need to investigate if he would come clean and work on the issue, first admitting that he has a problem. Can anyone relate to these types of situations when dealing with a porn addict for a spouse? What advice or experience are you willing to share? Thank you in advance.

43 comments posted: Sunday, June 27th, 2021

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