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RaggedyAnne

Stuck

It has been almost a year since I caught my husband. Since that time he has had full disclosure and has been nothing but a devoted husband. He doesn't drink or use drugs. He deleted all social media. He is an open book, financially transparent and rarely goes anywhere. He attends IC weekly for about 10 months now and has focused on fixing his issues.

Despite being in counseling myself, I am just stuck. I want my family, I want a husband as he is now but I just do not know if I can ever accept all the things that he did and have a healthy relationship with him. However divorce also seems so wrong too.

How do you decide? Anyone else had a spouse who did everything they possibly could do and you are still left stuck? What did you do to help yourself make your decisions?

8 comments posted: Monday, March 14th, 2022

Would you?

Hi 👋

Newbie here...well not a newbie to the pain of infidelity unfortunately.

Husband of 30 years has cheated on me in the past. Recently I caught him on messenger video chatting with a childhood family friend inappropriately. This latest stab to the gut has allowed all the feelings from the past to come gushing back up too.

He has been deleting text and fb messenger messages for quite some time and has been addicted to porn. My gut tells me that he has been doing this for awhile and probably with other women or on porn sites. I am that woman that needs to know everything that I can. He has deleted all social media accounts and is trying to fix things by being an open book and other positive behaviors. However I can not move forward until I have uncovered every stone that I can looking for evidence of more. I changed all his passwords prior to deleting so I have them all. My thought is to reactivate his Facebook account which seemed to be his favorite and delete basically all his friends except women and see if any of them reach out to him. On one hand, I think I am losing my mind for even considering it. On the other hand I think he was the deceptive one so I feel no shame.

Would you do it if you could? I know it is unhealthy to keep digging but I want to know.

14 comments posted: Friday, May 14th, 2021

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