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UseTaCould

My goal and desire for Reconciliation

Hi, it was suggested that I start posting over here being that my goal now is R. Im still very early past DDay (5Mos) and my story is here at JFO. https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/653550/my-wife-had-emotional-affair-with-old-flame/

I do have a goal to R however Im still taking it day by day. Been through a lot of counseling ( still in it), my WW is very remorseful and is working hard to help me heal. She is also working on herself and we have actually had some good times since DDay. However as of late Im absorbed in it all again. I realize this is due to the trauma and im working through it. We both want R so here I am. Im looking for any advise or stories anyone can share. Thank you.

11 comments posted: Thursday, November 18th, 2021

My Wife had emotional affair with old flame

I found out This past Monday that my wife of 12 years was having an emotional affair with and old flame from her past. He was her first boyfriend. They were chatting via Facebook and apparently sexting too. They were going to physically meet up but I caught it before it happened. My WS was dumb enough to ask if I minded if she went to dinner with her old BF who was coming to town in a few days. Im a very trusting husband and said yes at first but had strong reservations. Later that night I had a strong dream that we were fighting ( we never fight) about her going to dinner with this guy. That dream was so strong that I started digging into things the next day . I felt horrible because this is a woman who I have trusted for 12 years with my full trust.

On her Facebook and found this guy ( I only knew his first name) Once I found him in her friends I found their chats. I was so shocked, I could not believe what I was reading! She was telling him that she loved him on every chat and she was even calling him, things she called me! This was so devastating to me. They had also talked about how they were going to see each other.

I confronted her when she got home from work that day. She said it was only harmless flirting at first but I kept telling her I knew more than she knew I knew. I called a bluff and asked her about "the sexting" when I wasnt even sure if she was sexting him or not, she admitted to it! I asked her how long was this going on and she said at first a year, then said it was maybe a year and a half. She still tried to say that it was just something stupid she was doing and it meant nothing. My gut tells me different. The inflection in the chats, along with all the emojis tell me this relationship was very serious. She also denied that she would have gotten physical with him, she claimed that she had decided after all that she was not going to dinner with him early that morning after she asked me. I dont believe that one bit.

Im devastated and still cannot believe this is happening. 12 years together, never a fight, she was my best friend, we did everything together! Now this! Im so so heartbroken and numb.

[This message edited by UseTaCould at 9:22 PM, May 10th (Monday)]

125 comments posted: Wednesday, May 12th, 2021

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