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Anyone Else See Article Re: 70yr Widow Finds Out About Husband's Affair After He Died

Don't know if General is where this should be posted, if not my apologies and moderators move to where it's allowed

Came across article about said 70yr old widow who had found out after her husband died, that he was having an LTA with a 27 year old student of his. She was asking What Can I Do To Survive? (double grief death and betrayal)

Advice columnist's bottom line was to get counseling. But what I really liked was some of what the advice columnist wrote regarding affairs.

"I do know that not all affairs are alike. ALL are expressions of disregard for the betrayed partner. Some are proof of a manipulative and callous soul. Others are far more boorishly pedestrian, testifying to someone's inner juvenilia or adolescent desire to be flattered."

Can I just say my WS is a manipulative, callous soul who is wrapped up in his desire to be flattered by the attention from a woman 20 years younger than him? mad

0 comment posted: Saturday, August 21st, 2021

Advice for dealing with High Conflict Personality

Back ground: I'm one year out from my timeline to serve him papers. There are a number of assets. 29 yrs marriage. I'm gathering all financial information (past 5 yrs). WH THRIVES on Conflict. I'm reading/researching Narcissism and he ticks off many characteristics (especially rage). Money is his god. I know this will be difficult, but dealing with the disrespect of his ongoing affair with his employee (he owns his business) is just as difficult. Ours will be a "Gray Divorce", both of us in our 60's.

I will admit I'm fearful, and the more I read/research, feeds my fears. I have already consulted with lawyers, I understand he will probably drag out divorce as a delay tactic. Could use advice from those who have had experience divorcing NPD's / High Conflict Personality. What else can I prepare myself for?

4 comments posted: Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

Interrupted Sleep

How many out there can relate? Here it is, 1:30 am, woke up with my thoughts only on his affair. Usually, I'm waking up at 3 or 4 and unable to go back to sleep.

When I was deep in denial, at least I was getting a full nights sleep./s

I've been working on detaching and trying to compartmentalizing, but it obliviously is not working.

12 comments posted: Monday, May 10th, 2021

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