Me: BS (39) Him: WS (40) 13.5 years married, 16 years togetherD-day: 1Jan2021 Confronted: 2Jan2021 In process of divorce

Filed for Divorce -- frustrated!

Anyone gone through divorce in CA? As I work with my lawyer I get more and more frustrated with the 'community property' laws and with CA being a 'no fault' state!

My WXH committed adultery with a married woman on an interactive pornographic website. He abandoned our marriage contract / vows, and recently moved in with her (out of state). On top of that, as most of you know, I've discovered all the lies! I learned that he lied about how much he saved in his 401k! So, in CA while I'm eligible to half of his, he's eligible to half of mine. And he's made it very clear that he wants half and 'deserves' half.

I'll fight like hell to to keep a lions share of my retirement (it's money I saved for me!), but community property makes me feel like I have to reward him for his infidelity. Has anyone else felt this way?

Frustrated ...

6 comments posted: Tuesday, August 24th, 2021

Cried when completing disclosure...

Long story short, I'm about to have my lawyer file a divorce petition with the court. My STBWXH and I have done a few things out of order (to my benefit), but I did complete all my disclosure documentation for my lawyer last week. When I sent it over I felt relief at first, and then I cried for about an hour straight! Anyone else experience this?

After my journey the past five months I know the only way through this is with a D. I can't stay married with someone who lies, cheats, blames, betrays, etc. He continues to be so cruel and make it all about him! So why was it so hard to put the papers together and fill our the forms? Why did I cry and why am I so sad about it? Am I still in denial that this is all happening or am I finally accepting the reality of it?

The emotional rollercoaster separating from a narc and taking that next big step of going with a D is a killer!

Here's a link to my original post so you have the background: https://survivinginfidelity.com/topics/651252/heartbroken-/?AP=1

14 comments posted: Monday, May 17th, 2021