Newest Member: lrpprl

Timeforhelp

The bull s@#t and idiocy of trickle truth - a rant

For ALL of you WS out there who still have your heads firmly up your own behinds and are lying to not only your BS but obviously yourselves. I wanted to point out some reasons that trickle truth is not only stupid but harmful to you and your BS.

If you have done any reading on the way a BS reacts after discovering your infidelity, whether they have confronted you yet or not, you would know that they enter a state of hypervigilance, this combined with a massive dose of adrenaline and the inability to switch off means they ALWAYS know more than you think.

When they ask you for your timeline, they have already gone back through your entire relationship and remembered ALL of the times that they felt something was slightly off, when they found strange receipts or saw odd text messages.

They combine this knowledge with what you have chosen to reveal, rather than the whole truth as requested, and see HUGE plot holes which their brains will then fixate on until they find the answer themselves by further email, social media, text message and all other avenues of investigation they have or when they have finally
pestered you with the inaccuracies long enough that you provide another grain of truth.

But here is your problem, because once again you only give over a little information to try and patch the whole YOU think is most important, you provide more insight into the whole deception (in my case a 27 year relationship), inadvertently causing more questions to arise possibly in completely different areas of your cobbled together lie.

The information you provide is often also yet another lie, albeit this time with the idea of making the original lie not seem so bad/painful for the BS. But your embellishments always flash with the brightness of a neon light as thing you are trying to say to put the original information and you in a more favourable light. A lovely example of this is my WS explains why he didn’t continue fucking one of his OW as a regular thing as he was worried a friend of his (a nice guy) might notice and not like him anymore. This was told in an effort to explain why one fuck Buddy was more actively pursued than another, but just highlighted to me that my WS had more concern for how other people saw him, not how I saw him. Yet again I was the unimportant part of the equation.

The other big problem trickle truth causes for the WS is as more and more lies come to light, you become more and more untrustworthy and ultimately your BS careless less to fight for the marriage and you.

Think before you tell further bull s@#t, you never know when you are being given your last chance.

5 comments posted: Monday, March 28th, 2022

Polygraphs

WS had finally booked a polygraph and claims he isn’t worried about it at all as he is definitely telling me the whole truth now even though I have had 20 odd years of lies and 5 years of trickle truth.

I feel like I am more worried that he is going to fail than he is. I have told him that if he fails that will be the end of us, I will want a divorce and will let the world know what he has done to me for so long.

Thoughts?

5 comments posted: Saturday, March 12th, 2022

How do WS stop minimising?

Minimising the pain, minimising their actions, ‘forgetting’ their choices and actions in order to believe their own bullshit hurts as much and sometimes more than the actions of the affair. When do WS understand that they need to choose TOTAL honesty and stop the minimising to be able to face what they ACTUALLY did and therefore begging to move forward in their own and their relationships recovery?

Example :

My WS managed to minimise a physical assault brought on by his need to deny and deflect his actions with his last AP where he ran into a room where I was over powered, forced onto a bed and had my head squeezed with my WS shouting at me that I was wrong, until my glasses cut my face and I had screamed enough for him to finally get off of me. In my WS ‘recollection’ he remembers coming into our room from the hall and holding me and shouting at me. This was a response to me telling him to go fuck the OW again and his way of telling me he didn’t fuck the woman he saw almost every day for 18 months, text and emailed constantly all the whilst not touching me. rolleyes

So when and how do WS finally stop believing their own bullshit?

16 comments posted: Sunday, February 13th, 2022

Do wayward realise they are Murderers? - a vent

For all you WS who still don’t get it you should know that your choices and actions are tantamount to MURDER.

You pull the still beating heart out of the chests of someone you pertain to love for your own self gratification.

Then those of you who continue to gas light and trickle truth put your BS through reliving their murder on a daily basis.

The pain is unbearable and release via death would be a relief.

24 comments posted: Tuesday, February 8th, 2022

Remorse

How long did it take your WS to show you genuine remorse for their actions and the damage it caused?

My WS is a serial cheater who still doesn’t get it, but likes to make a big show of fake apologies until it’s obvious I don’t buy it then he either gets mad or sulks.

Will this ever change?

18 comments posted: Monday, December 20th, 2021

Rewriting the marriage history

WS Only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:34 PM, July 24th (Friday)]

0 comment posted: Friday, July 24th, 2020

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