I need support (separation)

Dear members,

I asked my husband to leave our house a couple weeks ago. He is still in A. I treated him like a roommate ever since I found out and we were in the same house. My mind couldn’t process this experience and I believed that things will change for the better. I now know that I can’t change it no matter what I do because I didn’t cause it. Yes, he was a typical cake eater.

I have kept myself very busy not to think about living alone for these last weeks. But I had a difficult day today. A couple of my friends came over, I cooked for them, and it was triggering because my husband liked that specific food I cooked very much. He was very talkative with guests as well. So I felt a huge emptiness hosting my guests alone, and I cried a while after they left. I was thinking that I was doing well, but I was wrong.

My husband was my best friend. I lost too much and I am very sad but I know it was the right thing to seperate myself from this situation. I remind myself that I deserve to be respected so he can’t be in my life under these conditions.

Today, I was thinking to myself, okay, let’s get a divorce but live in the same house as roommates and not talk about our private lives. It made me happy for a second, as much as I know how ridiculous it sounds. I felt horrible that I needed his friendship this much. When I asked him to leave he tried to avoid it and kept saying that he can’t live without me in his life. Whether or not he is telling the truth, we were very close to each other, but it didn’t stop him from doing what he did.

I need to hear that time will help, and I will get better.

[This message edited by Merti at 11:35 PM, May 9th (Sunday)]

13 comments posted: Sunday, May 9th, 2021