Devastated again in a new relationship

I experienced infidelity almost 3 years ago. I really walked through the storm and I did all sorts of healing I could think of- counseling, self-help books, Ho'oponopono courses, I even set up a facebook group to help women heal from their relationships. My husband and I got divorced and he instantly married the affair partner (which was about 8 months ago).

Literally a week after he got married, a dad in my children's school started messaging me on whatsapp. His wife passed away 3 years before and he has twins that he is raising on his own. Within about 6 weeks we went out on a first date and it was truly the best relationship I have ever been in. He said after a few weeks that he loved me and couldn't imagine a day without me. Lots of dates, times together, tons of messages, literally heaven. Yesterday, totally out of the blue, he called me and said that he started having thoughts about his wife that passed away and he now thinks he cannot move on from it. He is overwhelmed with grief and sadness and he thinks it is the end of the road for us. Seven months of I love you and I can't live without you, and it comes to this within a day. I feel like I was hit by a train. I felt so good after getting over my lying ex-husband, I felt on top of the world, like I conquered a deamon. I didn't feel like I needed anyone in my life. I wasn't on dating sites, I wasn't looking for a relationship. It just happened. And I am completely devastated now. Feeling like I am back to square one. WHAT HAPPENED? I don't understand why I would go through so much pain and agony, conquer all of it, and end up in the same exact place.

I have to add that I do believe that he is feeling that way, I don't think it is an act. He is very honest and it is not a game for him. He said he had to tell me about his feelings. And I agree, but one thing is to express your feelings and another thing is to say it's the end of the road. So devastated. Don't even know how to start picking myself up again.

15 comments posted: Tuesday, June 23rd, 2020