Newest Member: Stillconfused2022


Me BS/40
WH 40 EA/PA, DDay 5/19
M 12 years, 2 kids.
Filed for D 1/2020

Gaming the child support system

If you think your STBX is trying to manipulate custody in order to pay less in child support, is there any legal consequence for them?

My lovely ex firstly was offended by the amount of required (temporary) CS/alimony, I think because he thought what he was paying voluntarily was above and beyond, but turned out to be about the same as the notoriously inadequate state requirement. He then drafted a proposed settlement agreement that had him taking the kids three weekends a month with preference for long weekends (he works in the next state, so no weekdays). And that he would pay child support for one year, then...nothing. Yes, he actually tried to write that into the divorce agreement. He makes 3x what I do, and I'm supposed to support myself while having the kids all week. I'm pretty sure actual smoke came out of my ears when I read that.

So I practically have evidence that he's trying to weasel out of CS, with part of that strategy presumably being taking more custody days. I don't expect to go before a judge, in which case I would hope said judge would not be pleased with these shenanigans. But clearly none of what STBX is trying to do is in the best interest of the children. Have one parent pushing them all week to get ready for school and do their homework, and the other having 75+% of the fun time? That's not good for anyone. Clearly he's only thinking of the custody days/month and his "rights as a father," in his words.

My question is, is there anything I can do with this information? I'm aware being a self-centered narc egomaniac is not illegal. I don't think anything he proposed will actually happen. Can I get a court order for public shaming?? But seriously, without a going before a judge, is there any point in thinking about this? What would a custody evaluator say, just regarding the fact that he thought this was a good idea?

I would ask my attorney but I still have 10 months before the divorce is final (shoot me), and she's really busy. So in the meantime, what are your experiences?

11 comments posted: Friday, November 6th, 2020

Find military Servicemember overseas

I'm trying to get contact info for OBS. He's military, stationed overseas. Anybody have access to a database search? I have AP's unit, but not his.

I got one civilian email via Truthfinder, but no response after a few days. AP might well have access to it, which will have tipped her off that I'm contacting him.

I took a stab at guessing his military email based on AP's email address and if I'm right, he'll be seeing my message soon. But it's a fairly common name so his address might have a "1" after his name or something.

Any help is appreciated. Wanna do right by this betrayed American hero Thanks!

0 comment posted: Monday, January 13th, 2020

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