Her: WS, 35 at the time of the A
Me: BS, 40 at the time if the A, 2 kids 7&9.
Him: OM, 50, colonel in the AF, married, two grown kids, and a compulsive cheat
Now, WS 65, Me 70, Him 79
WS attempted to contact him and I found the card after 25 ye
I love you....really?
Of those of you who’s spouses have had an affair that lasted more than a ONS, when did you get past the “I’m no longer in love with you stance”, and start to believe them when they say “I love you” again?
15 comments posted: Thursday, April 29th, 2021
My IC explained to me that from his observations of my WS, she suffers from a mild to medium state of Disassociated reality. That the woman I love is different from the woman who entered into a PA and EA for 3+ years. My dwelling on knowing the truth only makes her condition worse as she denies to herself that it ever happened or that she could have done it. Thoughts in this? It would explain who that “woman was/is when nothing else ever has. As a teen she was sexually assaulted by a guy in HS and again by a boyfriend in college who was married but his marriage was unknown to her at the time.
51 comments posted: Saturday, March 20th, 2021
Men in recovery question
At what point did you come to terms with the rejection of your love which was given to another married man, and then stop feeling like “ your obviously less than and just not enough?”
This is my struggle. Knowing that twice, once for 3 1/2 years and then again 25 years later, she turned to him and away from me.
39 comments posted: Thursday, January 7th, 2021
Terms of Endearment
For BS’s, at what point do you ever begin to believe any words of endearment to from your WS? The betrayal and loss of trust seems to make it all sound and feel like “hot air intended to manipulate a goal. My profile explains my issue. Thanks.
11 comments posted: Saturday, October 31st, 2020
Military photos of personnel
[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:52 AM, July 12th (Friday)]
0 comment posted: Thursday, July 11th, 2019
Not Just Friends
I think I have read nearly every book written in the last 20 years on the subject of infidelity trying to understand how my WS could meet and bed a total stranger after 13 years of marriage, a faith filled life, 7 pregnancies, and ever lasting love from me. This book, by Shirley Glass, provided more insight, more answers and more guidance than all the others put together. I have read it multiple times. I gave it to my wife and asked her to read it. Its now been nearly 4 months and every time I mention it to her, she reads a couple of pages and then tells me how "wrong" it all is. I gave it to our therapist and his response was, "She is ashamed, embarrassed, and unable of admitting to herself that the truth of the affair may be something that even she does not understand." She says she never LOVED him, never wanted sex with him, never intended for it to go one so long and knew after the first time they fucked that she was in over her head. That didn't stop it from continuing for a year sexually, and 3 more years emotionally. I seek understanding and reconciliation but it escapes me.
[This message edited by Niceguy25 at 6:19 PM, July 12th (Friday)]
9 comments posted: Saturday, June 29th, 2019