Newest Member: PMSandvig

Change4thebetter

WW 34
BH 31 (SaddestDad)
PA/LTEA 3 years. M 5.5 years.
Grateful for each moment that BH gives the chance for R.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
Maya Angelou

4 years since dday

It has been 4 years since dday 1. This is one of my biggest regrets. That there was more than one dday. Despite all of the doubts many had regarding my many forgotten memories, the result of trickle truth and multiple ddays caused my BS so much unnecessary hurt and pain. Seeing his anguish with each new discovery and setting back the hurt and healing to day zero is something I wish I could undo (yes, of course I wish I could turn back time and not have any A’s in the first place). For any new waywards, I implore you from experience not to do this if you care to save your BS and your relationship. Just lay it all out there if you are able or do the bulk of the investigating yourself so you don’t have surprises and new details resurface. Your twisted mind thinks you are saving them from more hurtful details but you are causing unimaginable and possibly irreparable damage.

I did a lot of work. We did a lot of work. We are both still doing the work. It took years. It will take many more. He is not "over it" but he is now a happy and healthy family man. These days we are in a good place. Our marriage is in a good place and I am so thankful to this community and all of your support to get us to this place. It’s not a perfect place but we are in a better place. There is laughter and love and hope.
You can have this too but you have to do the work… and it is HARD work but it is worth being broken down to build yourself back up.

5 comments posted: Monday, February 6th, 2023

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