Newest Member: Notarunnerup


Do I tell my WS or not

My WS has been trying to get back into his old industry which he left on dday. He has been applying for jobs and getting as far as final interviews, but as yet no job.

He has an interview with a company his AP also works at. (I make it my business to know these things now, another curse of living with infidelity). I don't think he is aware of where his AP works now and he has been very open talking about the company, which I don't think he would if he realised. I asked him at the start of this process what would he do if he came into contact with his AP, he said be professional.

I find I am struggling with whether to tell him and draw a halt to the interview process, but then he will also know where she works and I have no idea what that may evoke in him. But then I am also curious to see if he went through the process and ended up working there whether he would actually tell me.

What would you do?

11 comments posted: Saturday, June 19th, 2021

What is it we really hope to get out of reconciliation?

What sort of relationship does a WS really hope to get from their BS, when they were dissatisfied with enough with the relationship to enter into and conduct an affair, and still present themselves as a family man/woman whilst swimming in a sea of lies and deceit?

What sort of relationship does a BS hope to achieve with a WS when the WS has shown them how insignificant they were to them at some point in time/for a period of time. How can the relationship ever be anything near what we hoped our primary relationship would be when living with broken trust and betrayal.

I have found the thread healing and living with infidelity a very poignant one for me being 3 1/2 years post dday. It saddens my heart to see how much compromising/mental gymnastics a BS seems to have to do to try and make the relationship work and that there is a level of sadness which always seems to remain no matter how far out from dday we become.

Does a WS also carry that ingrained layer of sadness, for what they lost and traded for 'good times'?

26 comments posted: Saturday, May 29th, 2021

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