Me:BW
Him:WH
married 2014
Dday june 2016
massive TT

Triggering hard might have ptsd

I haven't posted here but I have been lurking since 2016. I don't want to go over my story but I am triggering really hard.

My husband was aught sexting from the day i met him with multiple women online and continued into the first few years of our marriage. He and one of the women I confronted Claimed it was only a porn addiction gone too far. He was also using alot of porn and neglecting me. I know from texts recovered that one woman who lives in another town sent him a msg that she was waiting at a specific hotel in our town. No responses were discovered so he told me they never met which I know was a lie.

He also had a woman he was sexting start suddenly going to his gym. He told. Me he thought it was weird she was following him around but never thought to tell me.
Well I stayed for reasons I don't want to go over, we had 1 kid at the time I found out and now we have 3. I have been mostly happy, and a few times a year I get triggered, I get upset and get over it and continue on.
Well now My husband has an opportunity to be in a commercial, and they are paying for him to fly to another state, pay for room and meals and paying for his time. He leaves in a few days and I'm just triggering hard. We never go on dates, we have never had A vacation we have No one to watch the kids except his incompetent mother who couldn't take care of him let alone my 3 kids. He was a latch key kid at 5 years old to a single mother. So I get to stay home alone for what was supposed to be 1 day but has now turned into 2 nights.
I have zero trust in him and I'm having a complete break down. I need to complain somewhere I have no one to talk to. I'm so broken, I need advice on how to silent quit my marriage. I won't divorce right now due to circumstances but I need to detach and focus on me. I can't keep living like this.
I came from a household with a narcissist father, so I've had a rough life and been emotionality abused my entire life.I always try to be happy and see the good but this week I'm just falling apart. Help

2 comments posted: Wednesday, October 23rd, 2024