ME: 30 WS:31 DDay 12/6/14 Sky Above me. Earth Below me. Fire Within me.

My friend is having an affair - What to tell them?

I am a BS from years ago in a working healed marriage. We worked very very hard to save our marriage. I have a friend who knows of these trying times in my marriage and they are supportive of me as a person and in my healed marriage. They also have a current struggling marriage that has a past filled with good times, tough times, family hardship along with kids and everything else that a family comes along with.

They confided in me that they are currently having an affair and want to leave their marriage. They know I am a friend of the marriage and will encourage counseling which I am doing along with listening— but I am also kind of unsure where to turn. I am supportive of them and want them to be happy but I also feel that this new relationship is lustful and just an easy way to turn away from a marriage that is currently hard and stressful. They feel this is the connection they’ve been waiting for but also know it is wrong.

I am not against divorce in any way shape or form and I am not against healing a broken marriage either. I want my friend to find happiness wherever it may be and feel love as they deserve. With as much counseling as I’ve been through I wish I had the right answers or words to help guide them …

What I want to know … What do you wish a friend had told you before your spouse found out about your affair ? As a BS I have said to pause their other relationship and work on your marriage … but there is a huge part of me that wants to tell them to never tell their spouse bc I know how much it will ruin them. I also know from counseling that isn’t the right answer. Seeking advice from healing WS/BS

37 comments posted: Saturday, October 19th, 2024

My friend is having an affair - What to tell them? (moved to General)

  This Topic has been moved to General

0 comment posted: Thursday, October 17th, 2024