ME: 30 WS:31 DDay 12/6/14 Sky Above me. Earth Below me. Fire Within me.

My friend is having an affair - What to tell them?

I am a BS from years ago in a working healed marriage. We worked very very hard to save our marriage. I have a friend who I have confided this information in and they are supportive of me as a person and in my healed marriage. They also have a current struggling marriage that has a past filled with good times, tough times, family hardship along with kids and everything else that a family comes along with.

They confided in me that they are currently having an affair and want to leave their marriage. They know I am a friend of the marriage and will encourage counseling which I am doing along with listening— but I am also kind of unsure where to turn. I am supportive of them and want them to be happy but I also feel that this new relationship is lustful and just an easy way to turn away from a marriage that is currently hard and stressful. They feel this is the connection they’ve been waiting for but also know it is wrong.

I am not against divorce in any way shape or form and I am not against healing a broken marriage either. I want my friend to find happiness wherever it may be and feel love as they deserve. With as much counseling as I’ve been through I wish I had the right answers or words to help guide them …

What I want to know … What do you wish a friend had told you before your spouse found out about your affair ? As a BS I have said to pause their other relationship and work on your marriage … but there is a huge part of me that wants to tell them to never tell their spouse bc I know how much it will ruin them. I also know from counseling that isn’t the right answer. Seeking advice from healing WS/BS

6 comments posted: Thursday, October 17th, 2024

My friend is having an affair - What to tell them? (moved to General)

  This Topic has been moved to General

0 comment posted: Thursday, October 17th, 2024

My friend is having an affair - What to tell them?

If you're covering up her A, then I would say that you are no longer a friend of the M. My advice? Tell her she needs to tell OBS by a certain time or that you will. And follow up. Your friend has already done the ruining, and OBS needs to know so he can make an informed decision with how he wants to live.

0 comment posted: Thursday, October 17th, 2024