Jfo…..again. Always trust your gut

Been a long time since I was last here, 8 years to be exact. 8 years of false R. WH had a PA with a coworker back in fall of 2014, it was absolute hell, lots of TT, they went underground until caught again, the usual story, until he finally "saw the light" and realized the error of his ways. (Yeah, right). Worked hard (at least it looked like it from the surface) to regain my trust, be transparent, and do all the "right" things to save our marriage and family. He went back to school, got a degree, got a better job, we bought a house, our life and relationship was the best it’s ever been in 15 years of marriage, or so I thought.

We got our first cell phones in late May after he had a car accident over the winter and wasn’t able to call me. A few weeks ago, I noticed subtle changes in him, not enough to really be glaring, but enough to peak my BS spidey senses. I chose to just observe and pay a little closer attention. Two days ago, I checked our cell phone accounts to see how we were doing on minutes… in two months, he had used 600 minutes, but only 60 of them were in the recent call log. Huh. I confronted him and asked him why. First I got, "I have no idea what’s going on or why all those minutes are gone, must be an error." Then I got "Well, I do use it for work to call people with questions". Then I got "Well, I am friendly with some of the ladies I work with and we chat back and forth during the day". Then FINALLY I got "There’s this one that isn’t there anymore that I talk to… only about work stuff, and I knew you would wonder if you saw the number in the log, so I deleted them." I’m done. I’m shockingly indifferent at the moment, scorchingly angry of course, but I had laid very clear and concise ground rules and boundaries 8 years ago, and they were broken. Nay, not just broken, they were smashed into a billion bits, with conscious choice and malice.

So yes, always trust your gut, it is rarely wrong.

12 comments posted: Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022