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livebythesea

Me - 65 I often have to remind myself of my age! Husband - 65 DD1 April 5 2013 (a lie)DD2 April 23 2013DD3 June 22 20133 children 5 grandchildren

At 65 what do you do …

Middle of the afternoon and need to hear myself think … been rambling on for a bit now about what to do. Writing and reading your thoughts helps me so here I go:

Husband of many many years cheated on me many years ago, however found out 10 years ago this past March. So to me it’s relatively recent :)! I know it’s been awhile but when I’m between feelings, I go there and it all starts over again. In February I moved out of the house feeling brave, independent and never wanting to look back. I was in the apartment less than a week, I had the urge of going back home. Unreal. I now have an opportunity to lease my apartment and move back home (that’s why all these emotions are crawling in my head). Am I doing the right thing? No I am not cause I really do not want to move back to the house with him. So why on earth have I signed up to let my apartment go?

I suppose if I had lots of money, I’d decorate this little apartment and make it my home. This apartment is very pricey and truthfully I cannot afford it on my own. So, I do have a cottage. I could move there, there’s a catch. He’d be there. The cottage is only 15 minutes from the house.

I probably should make an appointment with a lawyer to see where I stand financially … that would be the wisest decision. Cause I do believe all this nonsense of moving back home, is about financial security. I have worked my whole life, been with him for 47 years. All we have is ours, and not just his. I know that. I simply do not want all the commotion of lawyers, and fights. Our goal was to leave some money to our kids, etc. If I drain him, he’ll have to sell this and that and I feel the kids will be left with nothing.

What to do … I honestly do not want to go back to him.

7 comments posted: Tuesday, June 20th, 2023

Cheating Husbands …

Multiple time cheaters do they deserve a chance to do better? Not a one time cheater, a multiple time cheater!

A one night stand (drunk at a bar) that pathetic story I could perhaps sympathize with. But a daytime sober affair where the soul knows what it s doing!

A premeditated affair? It’s been 10 years for me. I’m ok, just lately I simply cannot understand why strong independent women put up with this type of behaviour.

11 comments posted: Tuesday, April 18th, 2023

No Remorse …

My story began March 2013, it has been awhile … the thought of him being with another does not hurt any longer, that pain lasted about 2 years. Different emotions came and passed. You really do go through different style per say of pain, emotions …. On a positive note, time does heal. It really does. Few days ago we were sitting outside on an absolute beautiful evening discussing some feelings. I truly saw in his eyes right then and there he had no remorse for what he had done. He seemed to feel it was his rights to do what he did. What he should have done years ago is show me he was remorseful and acknowledged my pain.

I moved into a small one bedroom apartment 2 months ago, ever since moving out, he’s been a different person. More affectionate, texting me, calling every night. Wanting me back home. Before I left, the man barely spoke to me. I’d say for about 8 months (April to December 2022) we had a non existing relationship.

I do care for him, care for his welfare. I have a lot of anger towards him, I hold him accountable for making my life so difficult, I do not believe I can forgive him, forget what he did and pretend all is good. He wants me back, and I want to stay away. I must be a victim of some kind, cause every once in awhile I believe maybe if I go back things will be different. I know they wouldn’t. Definitely a confused victim. Sharing my thoughts with you this evening …

2 comments posted: Thursday, April 13th, 2023

Divorce vs Separation

Hi everyone, 10 years ago this month I Found Out!!!! Where do I start … first I’d like to say it was a painful discovery and it took me way too long to do something about it. Time certainly heals, but I took way too much precious time. At 65 now, living alone in a small apartment, and truly wondering how I will survive financially, emotionally …. I’m still guessing reason I stayed with him so long was I felt secure in every which way. More than anything else.

Anyway, my question to you guys is at my age what would be the benefit of a divorce? Would a separation agreement be sufficient. An agreement which would be legally drafted? It sort of intimidates me to see a lawyer and discuss a divorce …

4 comments posted: Tuesday, April 11th, 2023

Rescuephone - Apple 5 S

Planning on purchasing Rescuephone to verify husband's deleted messages etc. anyone use this software? Is it use friendly and will I be able to delete the app once I'm done with it. Meaning I want no trace of what I did.

6 comments posted: Monday, March 30th, 2015

Hotmail account password

WH had a hotmail account and his password automatically logged in. His laptop fell on the floor and crashed. He does not remember his password and I never did have it.

So I tried several password with no success. So, Outlook de activated his account.

I have the email address, how does one go about re activating an email account without the password. Is it possible? Can someone help me.

3 comments posted: Thursday, January 22nd, 2015

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