Me - B/W 52 Him - W/S 53 Married - 30 years 5 Children D-Day - August 5 & 26, 2010; April 27, 2021

Postnup Question

I don’t know if this has been spoken about here as I can’t find a search button. If it has, please guide me toward the post 😊

Has anyone here had a postnup drawn up after their spouse’s affair? If so, what are your thoughts on post nuptual agreements? Do you have any advice on what to make sure to include or any other helpful tips?

I’m pretty committed to getting one. There’s nothing new going on - I have no suspicions about current affairs and haven’t for some time. My original D-Days were in 2010. BUT, my husband did tell me, a few years ago, about another affair that happened 15 years ago and there’s been other things I’ve found out about along the way. He’s never confessed to anything on his own, including the most recent time. He says I now know it all. I have no way of knowing if that’s true, but based on history, it’s not. Who knows though? And I’m done looking.

Anyway, it’s suddenly come to me that a postnup might be a really good idea. I haven’t healed from finding out about new events again and again and again and I don’t trust him, but realistically am not going anywhere right now. I’ve explained to my husband that since he withheld information every single time we went to marriage counseling, the marriage counselor(s) and I didn’t know everything he’d done (but he sure did), the counseling wasn’t honest or done in good faith and our marriage couldn’t be rebuilt on a solid foundation. Every time I found out something new, boom another D-Day. He says he doesn’t agree with my assessment about all the marriage counseling, but he’s a very intelligent man and I can’t imagine he really doesn’t see my point.

It’s complicated. There’s a ton of good that goes with what I’ve described above or else I would be long gone by now. But you just never know what’s going to happen in the future, on his end or mine. A postnup is something I wish I’d thought of years ago, but better late than never… I think so anyway, which is why I’m asking for opinions.

Thank you!

3 comments posted: Wednesday, July 17th, 2024