50 years gone (a little long)
I have never posted my story because I was ashamed. Ashamed that I never saw what I now see. Ashamed that I now feel I was always a back up plan, not #1. (although, in truth, that is my brain over dramatizing my life, and I know this)
Recap: Been together over 50 years. He has cheated 3 times (years apart from each other).
the first cheat: we worked thru it, MC, etc. In looking back I can see that I actually got over it, and we moved on. to what degree of cheating? I am pretty sure it was a PA. He is still denying it as a PA to this day, and for over 30 years his story has never changed.
Years later 2nd cheat: (the one that brought me here) This one could actually be #1 AND #3
HSGF that he cheated on me with back in HS. She is not local, but close enough it could have been a PA. Found out, he went NC but this time I couldn't get over it. We did MC, but he hated it as the MC was holding his feet to the fire, and that pissed him off. But, although I never completed trusted him after this, we did manage to enjoy most of the time together.
Years later: 3rd cheat: this one was my breaking point. Local, pretty positive it was a PA. He, typically, denies. I kept telling him she needed to be cut out of our lives, as I could not live like this again. He was adamant she "is just a friend" "you want to control every aspect of my life" etc, you all get the picture.
In between 2 & 3 I did serve him papers, as he was just acting shady and I THOUGHT I was done with him. I crumpled like a cheap suit within minutes. He left, and came back with all the platitudes that all BS's want to hear. And I believed him. Unfortunately for me I believe #3 started up shortly after that.
So a few years ago, after another argument my heart died. I realized he was NEVER going to see it from my point of view, he will always feel that I am in the wrong, he would probably cheat again if the opportunity arises, etc.
I planned on D'ing him then, but major life crises got in the way. All got straightened out.
Finally told him a few weeks ago that I am done.
He has spun the story that I have thrown out the D card so many times, blah blah, even tho he, too, has told me a few times, thru out our years, but he can't admit that, either. All the while refusing to acknowledge HIS actions, which led to MY reactions. Nope, it's all on me.
And, today he left.
I am beside myself and numb.
I know it is the right thing to do with this person he has become, BUT, after spending our whole lives together it is doubly hard to now have to live my life without him. I know without him acknowledging his actions, and being truly remorseful for them, we would have just stayed miserable and unhappy the rest of our lives.
Because he is the KING of conflict avoidance we are, both, now going to live out our retirement years with a new plan.
I know I have friends I could call. I called my D's, but they are busy and I hate to burden them, it is their father.
So, I finally decided to, briefly, tell my 50+ yrs history with all of you, as you are the only ones who truly understand the pain and shock of what I am going thru.
18 comments posted: Saturday, December 18th, 2021
Does anyone know how to find a reputable phone forensic?
I did the free Dr Fone but didn’t get anything that was deleted, so I need to go to the next level.
1 comment posted: Wednesday, January 27th, 2021
old and new iphone and sim card
I have H's old iphone. I just looked at it to check for a contact number and it suddenly synced to his new phone!
Is this possible? The old phone does not have a sim card (that was part of the problem).
My question: IF I got a new sim card and put it into old phone would I then be able to see his imessages and emails in real time?
Not tech savvy at all!
2 comments posted: Thursday, August 29th, 2019
I ran a recovery on my H's iphone5 today, as I saw he texted his latest squeeze on Saturday, and of course, had deleted it.
They did not show up! Only the text that he still has showing were recovered.
Am I doing something wrong??
I am not tech savvy at all, but I do know how to plug it in
2 comments posted: Thursday, May 23rd, 2019
Can anyone look up old (?) CL ads for me
I found some CL ads, in his contacts, in my H's icloud acct on his phone. I must confess I have never thought to look at "contacts". I just checked the in/out/etc boxes.
I found women with no phone #'s just email addresses, that I DO NOT KNOW!!
I also found 3 CL ads but I have NO idea when he responded to them, what they are about, or anything.
CAN ANYONE LOOK THEM UP FOR ME???
PS: I AM getting very close to pulling the plug on this farce of a M but now that I found them I am a "need to know" kinda gal
0 comment posted: Tuesday, February 5th, 2019
Can someone help me?
(OK, that's a loaded question )
3 comments posted: Monday, October 23rd, 2017
2 questions for Iphone 4 experts
I know how to dial numbers and text That's about the extent of MY expertise.
Thanks to the wonderful SI I learned I can go to settings and see H's "advanced website data" list. That's great, BUT that is all I can see, just the list.
Q #1 - when I see his list it will list FB, as either "www.facebook.com" or "m.facbook.com". Does this mean HE is logging INTO fb? Or is it just b/c fb is attached to every freakin' page on the web? What does the "m.fb" mean?
Background: He signed up for Classmates, to connect with bitchface, and lied to my face for 3 F'n years about it!!!
Just like last time, he has been telling everybody we know how HE hates fb, would NEVER be on fb, blah, blah, blah.
His list also keeps showing "login.verizonwireless.com", but I know for a fact he does NOT know our acct log in. Secret acct, say SI'ers??????
So....is he being a stupid ass, AGAIN???
Q #2 - what do I need to do to be able to see all that he does on this phone? How do I see the keystrokes, to see what other "secret" accts he has?
I know his login/pw to both the phone and iCloud. But, again, I have absolutely NO idea how the cloud works, and what I may be able to see on it???
If you have read this whole thing, bless you.
If you can help me, I would be so appreciative.
Before you answer, you might want to know that I will probably need precise step-by-step instructions, since I know nada
25 comments posted: Wednesday, August 12th, 2015