Newest Member: TotallyShatteredandlost

BeingNaive

Need Advice - Not sure what to say

I'm usually pretty good at giving advice to friends and family so when a friend asked to meet me for dinner to talk, I accepted. Well, this is a complicated one for me so I thought I'd see what others may say.

She has been in a LDR for about 1.5yrs and it was a really good relationship. A few snags here and there, but overall, they were both happy and things were moving forward. Then, February happened and things have changed.

He was diagnosed with an illness that is very serious and may cut his life expectancy down to a couple of years. She accepted this and while he had doubts it was the right thing for her, they were still good. In fact, they had talked and she was planning on moving to him at the end of the year.

Recently, they got into a disagreement and in the middle of it, his father passed away. The day after his father passed, he told her that he wasn't going to do that to anyone. That he's not going to be in a relationship, that this opened his eyes to his situation, and that they could still talk as friends, but that was it. Since then, he has been distant and she's worried about how to handle this.

I told her he was going through something really big and that she needed to be patient. To be there for him, but to not talk about their relationship right now. That she can address it with him in a couple of months. Luckily, that was also her thoughts so she took it well. She's just unsure how to be there for him when he's distancing himself. She texts him a couple of times a day about regular things, just trying to keep them connected.

What do you guys think? Should she just text as she has been? Should she call him? He said he'd call her a couple of times, but never did. He did apologize though.

Another thing is that she thinks that once things settle down and they can really talk, that they will be a couple again. That once she explains her thoughts on his illness and how she feels, that he'll realize that he's just being stubborn. I'm afraid she may be setting herself up for disappointment and I'm not sure how to help with that. Any thoughts?

7 comments posted: Tuesday, July 13th, 2021

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