Newest Member: Issyibbitt

sootired

Me 55 Divorced
Her 43 WW-24 month EA with some PA followed by ONS with another
In R since 4/09 (I think)
6/10 False R
2016 EA, probably PA
Divorced 2/2020

First post D relationship

Hello all, been a while since I posted here lol. My D was finalized Feb of 2020. We were separated several years prior. I did not start dating until after the D was finalized. This past September I met some one and we hit it off and have been dating exclusively since.
The problem is I have reached a point were I am pretty certain I no longer want to continue.
We get along well and have mostly common interests. I have met her kids and she has met mine and, so far , that has been good.
But, there were a few issues early on that have recently become very concerning that I though initially were chocked up to a busy day or other reasons that I was able to overlook in the beginning, but have gotten overwhelming for me. I am embarrassed for her to even say what the issue is, but it has gotten to the point were I am losing my attraction to her. And, if I am honest, has prevented me from letting myself develop any deeper feelings for her.

I do feel like it is time to break it off, but I am having a tough time with it. So many emotions, new and old, I am so confused and, due to the subject matter, would be horrified to speak to any of my friends about it. Besides, they just carried me through a bad divorce, infidelity and they deserve a break lol.

I feel so alone, anxious and so confused. Wondering why I even decided to go down the relationship path again. I have thought many times about talking to her, but we are 55 years old and this is more than just an annoyance or difference of opinion. She does not take care of herself. A systemic hygiene issue that affects her home, car and herself. And the more comfortable she has become with me, the worse it is getting. To the point where I am concerned about mental issues or substance abuse.

She is a professional and a very sweet person and we have had so much fun. I don't understand how this can even happen. I think that is part of the problem, I kept convincing myself that this must be my imagination. But it is not. Sigh.

Not even sure what I am asking here, just need to get my thoughts straight I guess

17 comments posted: Tuesday, May 10th, 2022

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