Me:50/55. BS Him:48 XWH/55 xwbfMarried almost 10 years/ 3 yr rel3 adult kids/ 2 adult kids1st DDay 2 wks after marriage/ Mar 105 OW's and false R's/ 1+ OW’s? April 2017 Divorced/ ended rel Mar 16No second chances ever again!
I should have listened to this groups advice..
So after 2 years from divorce, I decided to date. Was someone I knew in high school. I came to this group with a couple yellow flags. Folks told me to walk away. I stayed. Three years in next week. Found out he did crack, got drunk and had sex with someone while I was out of country with my dying dad. I don’t drink, only use what is prescribed to me and no opiates as they make me sick. How did I allow myself to get in this situation. Now I get to extricate myself from this relationship. I am numb, not angry, not sad just numb. I found out on March 10th. We went out to listen to some music. Started off great then he had a few too many. Went to his house, in his drunken state he said " You’re stupid, why are you with me anyway? I’m not a good person. You don’t know what I did". He then went to the bathroom where I heard a big crash. Opened the door and there he was on the floor with pants down. Nice. He made it to the couch, i searched his phone - which he had given me the password to help me feel safer in relationship and said he had nothing to hide. Phone showed he had semi blacked out on drugs and booze and had sex with an unknown female that his friend said was like a zombie when he…I haven’t seen him since.
I am stupid to have stayed. The weekend my dad died he was doing this, now I know why he didn’t answer when I called. Next time, if there is a next time…I will follow the wisdom of this group. On a positive note, I have not been intimate with him. Now I know why on that end too, still going for testing. Blah. I’ll be 56 next week. Thanks for listening!
10 comments posted: Sunday, March 13th, 2022
Dating vs relationship
Hi Everyone, I haven’t posted in a long time. Just looking to get some thoughts out and maybe some feedback. I am dating a guy I knew from high school (like 30 years ago..). We met again on my birthday and had our first date a month later and here we are 11 months later. He is kind, hardworking, intelligent and very good looking. We have a lot in common and we laugh a lot, go dancing and spend a lot of time together. He has confirmed that he is not dating anyone else. His phone is not hidden, shows me things his friends send etc. He has met my parents but has not attended any family functions. I have met his family and adult children. I have not attended any of his family events. We have met and attended events with each others friends.
I am feeling at a crossroads. Part of me wants a real relationship, part of me says, he is the only person I have dated since I was divorced 3 years ago and maybe I am being foolish. He has never been married, had 3 long term relationships but said he knew he didn’t love them and ended things even though it was hard to do. We say we like each other and enjoy being together. I am getting some pressure from my family to meet him. I have invited him to family events and he says he just wants to take things slow. I am respecting his wishes. I am not sure what I am doing.
Sat night we were supposed to meet friends for dinner. He was to join after work. He called and told me he wasn’t feeling well and that he was tired and not coming. My friends had pity looks on their faces and made some comments about me getting blown off. I saw him later, he said he was fatigued from working 7 straight and just didn’t want to go. I let him know that the gang felt sorry for me and that I said I was okay. He asked why and I let him know that during my marriage my ex rarely attended events with me and I went alone to many things. He said that if he isn’t up to going somewhere, he will let me know. I don’t want to put the past on him. I am wondering if I am too accommodating and easy going or if I need to ask for more from him. Blah this dating stuff is hard!
5 comments posted: Monday, February 17th, 2020
keylogger and Dr fone
Ok I bought and downloaded a keylogger. I put it on his computer. I hope the damn thing works! I also downloaded dr fone free version. I attempted to scan the phone and found out I need the damn password, which he has changed several times and I can't get into the stupid thing. Maybe the keylogger will give me enough info.
Although I have enough through the var to hurt my heart. Of course I cant say anything about what I heard....
Anyone use a keylogger? Does it really work...
1 comment posted: Wednesday, March 2nd, 2016
Don't try to unlock iphone with emergency number!
I thought I would use a YouTube video to unlock a phone. Don't do it, I accidentally called the police! And I hung up and they called back! Yikes. Won't be doing that again. Good thing I practiced on my own phone.
1 comment posted: Friday, February 12th, 2016