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How long does one give their WW to come out of the fog?

^^I gave my husband about 20 seconds (19 seconds too long). He knew it was my way or the highway. I would not tolerate any more disrespect. I threatened to expose the dirty little secret to everyone. My WH knew I meant business. His boss, his family, our friends, his co-workers. I didn't give a rat's ass.

My WH AP lived 3,000 miles away. From D-Day forward there was not one word between them again after a 2-year EA and one day PA when he visited her site. He was actually on the way to her office for their second rendezvous.

Put yourself in the driver's seat. The garbage coming out of your wife's mouth is straight out of what we call the "Cheater's Handbook."

Nothing will change UNTIl she starts to face REAL consequences for her actions.

Sadly, you don’t have much to work. Your wife seems to have an intimate relationship with dishonesty. And she’s ok with that! But are you?

No marriage will survive the lies, the rug sweeping, the ‘acting normal’, or any of the bullshit she requires to not suffer any consequences for her actions.

And the ‘you keep throwing it in my face" crap drives me nuts. My husband tried that with me too. Calling them on their shit is not throwing anything in their face…it’s the consequences of the shitty choices they made. That’s life.

And kids aren’t stupid…they’re going to know one way or another. They always do…

I wish you all the best…and sincerely hope for your wife’s sake that she pulls her head out of her ass before it’s too late. Until then, expose, expose, expose. We teach our children about consequences early on…your wife seems to think consequences don’t apply to her.

^^I gave my husband about 20 seconds (19 seconds too long). He knew it was my way or the highway. I would not tolerate any more disrespect.

Exactly. She is VERY aware that she has control now. She doesn't want anyone to know what she did but SHE DID IT. Please tell everyone and expose it. It is very probable your kids already know and its up to her to repair that relationship. If you lie to your kids to cover for your lying wife, they will know you both cannot be trusted. Do not damage your relationship with your kids because of your wife's choices.

How long should you wait? 1 second. That is it. Absolutely no one should care what she wants you to do. She lost that privilege when she made the MANY MANY decisions to cheat on you. So you should out them to the entire friend group and tell your kids directly and honestly what is going on. You don't have to dish details or trash talk anyone - the truth in age appropriate language is all they need.

Do not consult your wife - she is only looking out for herself. She is not looking out for you or your kids.

Once again, Butforthegrace’s post is bang on IMHO. I get that WS’s go through withdrawal, but at 4 weeks, she is still trying to gaslight and justify her horrible actions.

BDA sorry that your going thru this. So far you seem to be doing good. Keep the pressure on, 180 her, "zero means zero" her, Don't play the pick me dance.
Based on what I've read from other post, to get her out of the fog quick is to server her divorce papers. Tell her she's got 1 year (I think that's how long it takes) to clean this mess up before divorce is final. If/when you do file, don't stop it. Let it run it's course. If you stop it and she cheats again, you'll have to run down the clock a full year again. Check with a lawyer 1st. Get the facts before starting the divorce route. Good luck. Please keep us posted.

[This message edited by Tempocontour at 1:47 AM, Thursday, December 15th]