Sharkman ( member #56818) posted at 12:14 AM on Friday, October 30th, 2026
It’s worrying about something that does not exist. You two are not married. People get married by making vows to one another. There is a legal component to marriage, but that’s just accounting.
She unilaterally ended the marriage without informing you when she decides to discards the vows - the only thing holding you together - by choosing someone else.
You’re simply doing her a favor by going to the lawyer. She always did the hard part, actually ending it. Now you simply need to get advice about how to get comfortable about what a legal divorce would look like. She ended the marriage. Isn’t it reasonable that you’d like to talk to someone to determine what your end of that dissolution looks like?
BS7531 (original poster new member #87883) posted at 11:42 PM on Friday, October 30th, 2026
I was actually able to see a lawyer today and it was worth it. I now understand what a potential settlement would look like and how a post-nup works. I'm still undecided on both divorce and a post-nup, but I know I'll be financially fine either way. That has taken some pressure off. I'm also less afraid of being alone than I was, but I still don't know what I want.
My wife traveled for work this week for the first time since D-day. She was fully transparent and we communicated throughout the trip, but I struggled anyway. I'd been on edge for a few days beforehand. One night while she was away I drank, left her a nasty voicemail, and ignored her calls. It was general anger at how she could throw our life away. I called her disgusting and ended with "hope it was all worth it." I'm not proud of it.
She called again first thing the next morning and I didn't pick up. I called her back on my way to work. She said I had every right to be upset and that she knows I'm hurting. She was clearly upset but didn't make it about herself. She didn't ask whether I'd been drinking, but she knew.
Not much else to report.
