LittleMonk ( new member #86661) posted at 7:03 PM on Friday, August 14th, 2026
Just a different wrinkle in the thought experiment here.
My ACE score is 5. I think my wife's is like 2 or 3...
Most of the "perfect storm" was centered on me, not my wife.
Was her experience different? Yes... I would say mine was arguably worse, yet I made different choices.
GotTheMorbs ( member #86894) posted at 8:22 PM on Friday, August 14th, 2026
I'm sorry the discussion you started went so off track and for my part in it, Asterisk. I understand how incredibly frustrating that can be. I will try to do better with listening more closely before responding in the future.
[This message edited by GotTheMorbs at 8:23 PM, Friday, August 14th]
I'm not arguing... I'm calibrating
Pogre ( member #86173) posted at 12:52 AM on Saturday, August 15th, 2026
Just a different wrinkle in the thought experiment here.
My ACE score is 5. I think my wife's is like 2 or 3...
Most of the "perfect storm" was centered on me, not my wife.
Was her experience different? Yes... I would say mine was arguably worse, yet I made different choices.
I also scored a 5.
My wife got a zero...
Where am I going... and why am I in this handbasket?
GotTheMorbs ( member #86894) posted at 2:18 AM on Saturday, August 15th, 2026
I think comparing yourselves like that is pointless
I'm not arguing... I'm calibrating
LittleMonk ( new member #86661) posted at 4:58 AM on Saturday, August 15th, 2026
I think comparing yourselves like that is pointless
Isn't that the entire premise?
GotTheMorbs ( member #86894) posted at 6:14 AM on Saturday, August 15th, 2026
I am trying very hard to refrain from being rude.
I'm not arguing... I'm calibrating
LittleMonk ( new member #86661) posted at 4:16 PM on Saturday, August 15th, 2026
Asterisk's wife deserves empathy. He deserves empathy. I deserve empathy.
All unfaithful spouses deserve empathy, and all betrayed spouses deserve empathy.
To me, empathy does not require identification.
And if the goal of the exercise is empathy, then that empathy has to extend in every direction, including toward the people living with the consequences of choices they did not make.
Empathy and grace.
