Hey there Texas24,
After reading everybody's post, I can say you got a lot of good advice and new avenues to explore. Sure, it can make you feel worse about yourself reading what people have to say, and it definitely starts to feel overwhelming. But, if what you say is true and you're actively taking steps to be better, then everything will work out the way it's supposed to.
The second discovery for my BS was text messages with another colleague that were primarily about work but also were very friendly and familiar. My BS didn't know I was communicating with him in this way.
I'm not going to repeat anything that's already been said but I do want to mention this. I'm a WS and this was something I did that hurt my BS very much. So I have to ask, how were you talking to you BS at that time? Was you being as friendly and familiar with him as with these other men. Was you replying to him as frequently as you were with everybody else.
I know it seems like a stupid thing to say, but in my situation I was replying to my wife like a business partner, and sometimes I wasn't replying to her at all. My texts to the AP though were becoming more frequent and more familiar. All the emojis and funny videos that should've been going to my wife, were going to somebody else.
It's just another avenue to take when thinking about why your husband may have had the reaction he did. Really examine how you talked to him and how much compared to these other men. Wish you the best in your healing journey.
