SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Anyone would say "hey, it's been 2yrs, get with it".

Not anyone that has been through adultery....on either side of that destructive choice.

Sadly, I do read where a WS actually express's this to their BS....a sure sign the WS has not really gone through adultery, they still live and breath in ways that make adultery "just a bad mistake".

Glad your wife is not choosing in that light.

We are 2 years out this week or so when my wife said yes to the OM and started their EA in earnest....actually visited lightly the end of the school year 2 years ago, but the intentional concealment started right about now.

I am just a couple of months out from 2 years myself.....feels funky right now. I can't say I know how you feel....but I appreciate you sharing your feelings.

Peace.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 3:26 PM, June 6th (Friday)]

I hope you are feeling better today! I am 2 yrs out also. My DDay is in 4 wks. The whole month of June two yrs ago they were 'so much in love' that this whole month seems like it is forever ruined for me. I also think about it multiple times every day. I've read that it's a grieving process you have to go through because basically your M has died. I can get that but on that same note... when my dad passed away I most definitely grieved for him but I don't think it was still this painful 2 yrs out. It's like your M doesn't just die once - it just continues to die over and over again. I'm also doing better than last year, but I sure wish I was in a better place than I am.

I wish you all the best.

Never ceases to amaze me that when I am feeling down or "funky" as blakesteele says, I open up SI and there it is- just what I need to read. I really appreciate reading all of these posts, thanks to all for sharing your thoughts about how it is for you. It's very comforting to read that others are feeling and thinking what I am.

It's 2 years for me too. So many ups and downs. I see progress too and feel better, more like myself again. Just wish I could feel secure and confident in my marriage. I wonder too what will 5 years out feel like? When will the "funkiness" go away?

Hugs to all!

s 2 years for me too. So many ups and downs. I see progress too and feel better, more like myself again. Just wish I could feel secure and confident in my marriage.

Same here... Although I'm fairly secure in myself. The only way I can do this is to make my marriage and him smaller in my life. And that seems strange...,

Hi 2married. I'm 4 years out and doing pretty good. Just watched "the Notebook"- not the best idea- brought back painful memories of the old us. I was MADLY IN LOVE with my husband right up until the A. I was so happy at the time. He says it was one big mistake. I understand about the 2yr. mark. It's such a painful experience and I'm sorry about that. Especially since you are really having to hide it. Just so you know- I did and still do hide it. We moved to a new state and no one knows here and I think it is best to keep it that way. I miss the old me too. The old me that was so madly in love, innocent, happy, secure. I will tell you this. It has become a lot easier. My WH is a good man and really a better man now. He has always been a great father. Things are different, but with kids involved it is better to stay married. I think divorce would be a lot harder. Infidelity is such a terrible life experience. I'm glad the worst is over. I'm glad the worst is likely over for you too. I'm glad your spouse is sorry. Hang in there. Get outside, listen to some good music, go out to eat, do something different. That always helps me. Oh, and DO NOT WATCH THE NOTEBOOK! :)

I know D Day still can get you down. The first 4 or so years was hard. I does get better but you will never forget. My D Day is April 15 "TAX DAY" so I get a dose of reminder every year. But it can get better. This year was 10 years and recovered but March I started triggering because my wife has been traveling all the time. I got crazy suspicious about things I thought were out of the normal. I twisted my self up so much I asked her out of the blue if something was going on. She was a little hurt but understood and we had several conversations about things and even a couple of things about her A 10 years ago. It will always be part of your life as long as you are together. BUT IT DOES GET BETTER!

2married:

I am barely over two months out from D-Day. Have not logged on for about a month. For some reason I clicked on your post. It gave me shivers and a cold sweat.

Like you - my wife's affair was with a good friend too. The complications are amazing.

I have found myself wishing it was some point in the future (a year, 2 or 3 from now) so that hopefully I will be back at a place - and my marriage will be back to a point - or "normal".

I'm so scared that I will never love again like I did. Trying to make "us" work - but not sure.

Hope you made it through your DDay anniversary and are having a better day today.

This is my 4 year anniversary to the day, which is 2 days after our wedding anniversary. It does get easier as time goes by, but do I love and adore my husband the same as I did before his A, no.

My husband also told me not to be concerned about texts I found, which was Memorial Day 4 years ago. But my gut told me different and sure enough when I was able to get to his much guarded phone, I saw another message from OW. This is the day I confronted him and almost a week later I was able to access his FB account to find messages he sent her, which told me a lot more accurately about the length (which he initially lied about) and to some extent the seriousness of their A.

Anyway, my H has made changes like making the marriage a priority and not putting his friends ahead of me, however I'm not sure I've seen true remorse from him. There has been really no repercussions he has had to deal with, only a few people were told about the A.

I'm rambling I know, sorry. But thanks for starting this thread, I needed to share as well. Be good to yourself. Remember, it wasn't your fault your spouse had an A. And I agree with Alex CR "in the end, you are the only person you can really count on and that lust for life, that feeling of joy ...they come from inside you, not from someone else." That's what I'll continue to work on.

Take care.

Thank you all for your kind words. Coming here always saves me from loosing my mind.

So we went on vacation just like we always do this time of the year and yes, the reminders are EVERY WHERE! We decided we are going to change our vacation dates and all so it won't be the same as it was that horrible year.

I triggered during vacation. When we came back she wasn't feeling well. My natural personality came out as I held her and kissed her forehead, but my heart just wasn't into it. I hate feeling this way. I feel like such an awful husband. I forgave her but my gut doesn't feel the same and my heart is still healing after 1.5yrs of her being in limbo and just so not wanting to feel pain anymore. IN fact, I don't want to feel anything.

I just don't know what to do. I love her and living without her is going to hurt. I'm so afraid of feeling that pain as when she was in the A. And staying is painful as well. I wish it would have never happened. Yet, somethings are indeed better. I have to admit.