SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

When I was in 8th grade, I found out my Dad had had an affair. I remember my Mom crying and sad. I remember all of a sudden, she started buying new, expensive clothes and dressing much nicer. We changed churches. One day at the mall I saw my Dad's OW, came home and innocently told my Mom who I'd seen. She said, "That's her. That's the bitch." I was so shocked! My parents went to marital counseling and there were shelves of marriage books that I started reading as a teen. Marriage Insurance and His Needs, Her Needs were my favorites.

When my husband and I started dating, we read the books together. We knew what we were supposed to do to affair-proof our marriage. We have 6 children together and have been married 28 years.

Now it's me sprucing myself up, buying new clothes, reading marriage books with fresh eyes...

One other thing I see in common is that in my Dad & Mom's case my Mom cared for her great-aunt, and then my Dad's Mom in their home. My mother came to live with us in a small apartment behind our home 7 years ago. She has Parkinson's so it's pretty labor-intense taking care of her.

It's just so uncanny. Deja vu.

This is one of the deepest trauma a human can experience.

Even read about war veterans already damaged by PTSD, were broken worse by betrayal.

History of prisoners in siberia who resisted till the end but cracked when their partners betrayed them.

They are all horror stories and some situation like war or prosecutions are instinctively more scary (you can die), so why the betrayal seem to cut deeper sometimes?

Because we expect threats from the outside world, there is some scary evil stuff out there.

But when the threat comes from inside, the scary evil stuff is from the person who is holding your hand against the world... it's just hitting you differently.

Outside threats might be the death of your body.

Inside betrayal is the death of soul and hope, and the "goodness" that makes us humans.

Spruce yourself up, celebrate yourself, protect your worth, is not just a deja vu, is your heart and soul fighting back to forgive the horror.

And you deserve to win that battle.

[This message edited by BackfromtheStorm at 3:57 PM, Sunday, January 25th]

My dad was a serial cheater, and when my mom found out, she had an affair with the bass player from his band, who she eventually married. I guess that makes my parents madhatters. Infidelity was an early part of my life, and my wife made sure it was a also a part of my later life.

Thanks, darling...

[This message edited by Pogre at 6:38 PM, Sunday, January 25th]

My dad was a serial cheat ended up marrying the last one but my mom never got rid of him till I was in my twenties. Ex saw the devastation it caused. His dad was a cheat to and his brother left his wife and kids and had a new family with the other women. We always talked about the hurt and upset it all caused so I don’t know why he would then go and do it to his own family!