SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Years ago my devoted wife went on a business trip to Mexico as a translator for a Russian circus act.
Being the idiot I am, I believed her, only to realize later she really went with her lover for a romantic sex filled vacation. Years later she went to Russia for a high school reunion. When she returned she had new lingerie I’ve never seen before covered with her scent and cum stains.

I confronted her on these (and many other) escapades but she just always denied it.

She knows I love my granddaughter (who lost her mother) and wouldn’t do anything to further disrupt her life.

My wife hates sex with me - She doesn’t move - it’s like fucking a mannequin - she can’t wait till it’s over (All 3 or 4 times a year).

I see stories like this all over this site wherein an unfaithful wife rips the heart from a decent husband. Poor me. I feel so sorry for myself.

But, unlike other victims of adultery, I have no right to judge.

This is my confession:

25 years ago I asked a single mother from half way around the world to come to America and be my wife. She trusted me to care for her and her son. She asked me with hope in her eyes and trust in her heart to defer sex until we knew each other and were married. She wanted a life together.

When she arrived, I couldn’t care for her because I was not financially stable.
I pouted like a spoiled brat that I wanted sex now.
I was a self centered piece of shit.

Soon after we were married I seduced my boss in order to get money for my family. . This continued for months until her money ran out.

I misled my wife to get her to come to America.
I pressured her to have sex before I even knew her,
I was not a good provider and I fucked a married woman for money.

My wife often wonders how her girlfriends are so lucky to marry successful men. She says she’s jealous of them. Her comments cut me like a knife.

I try every moment of every day to make it up to her. To earn a better living. (I average about 200k) To provide for my family that I love — but it’s never enough.
I want to give up, but that would hurt those I love even more.

My wife thinks I’m a loser.
She regrets that she could’ve married a better man.

It hurts. A lot.

Because she’s right.

Hello,jhg. Welcome to SI.

Can you tell us a bit more about your affair? Did your wife catch you, or have you never admitted it? We can be more help if we have some context.

In case you weren't aware, which is understandable as a newbie: madhatters (people who have both betrayed and been betrayed in the same relationship) can only post on a stop-signed thread from a wayward perspective. No BS can post under the stop sign, and the guidelines consider you a BS when you write about being cheated on. If you want to write about the complexity of madhatterdom, you can either ask the mods to remove the stop sign, or you can post in the madhatter thread in I Can Relate forum. We have several madhatters here at the moment, so it's probably a good time for that thread to get some traffic.