Slight backstory - we’ve been together for 10 years, have 2 kids, been engaged for 2 years & finally got married in June.
My D-Day ....our one month wedding anniversary. Yay me, right? He fell asleep getting our older daughter to sleep..I tried to wake him up, but he sleeps like a damn rock. So I took his phone to put his alarm for work. And then I see tinder. I felt the heat rising and started shaking. I almost confronted him there, but decided I needed to see what was going on so he couldn’t delete anything and make me feel crazy. He was speaking with 3 women on there, one super extensively to the point where he was planning a date with her after work. Hindsight - I should have taken screenshots. But anyways.
I confronted him. I was pissed. Kicked him out of our room. He was like a sad puppy crying yadda yadda. Apologetic and asked for my forgiveness for us to go to counseling. He’d do “anything” to save our family. I told him I can’t make any decisions, but I need to know if there’s anything else I need to know. Anything else that had happened. He kept saying there was nothing. Assured me there was nothing. But I felt like he was lying.
So..I’m not proud of this, but it turned out for the best...I took his phone and looked through his texts. Earlier this year he was away for training for his job for a few months. I saw texts between he and some woman he used to work with that were extremely explicit, ending with him asking her to fly to see him for a weekend. I confronted him about this and he told me everything. Then confessed that he met someone while he was there as well...they sexted on Snapchat (but didn’t send pictures supposedly 🙄
but never did anything physical according to him. According to him , that was it. There was nothing else.
Until yesterday I find out that he had been lying for the past 4 months about getting out of work late..that he had been stopping at his friends apartment for drinks before coming home.
I’m at the point where I literally don’t even believe his name is actually his name. I’m disgusted by him and his lack of respect for me and our relationship. I know he has to be lying to me about more, even though he claims that I now know everything. It’s all just BS.
I feel like I’m going crazy. Sometimes I feel sad..sometimes I’m enraged. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about what I’m feeling. It just. It’s all too much