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Lostallalone posted 4/5/2020 20:16 PM

So here we are quarantined. I am in automotive and without the big 3 there is no work. I found part time work at a gas station. My wife works for a school system so she gets paid till summer. Being forced together things seem calm. Its kinda weird but she seems amicable. She says she don't trust me.(I understand) I say I'm nervous of her ambivalence of me. (She understands)
Actually seems better trying to work through problems at hand. No intimacy but there is peace.

foreverlabeled posted 4/7/2020 17:22 PM

You may not want to rock the boat, I mean conflict avoidance is strong in many of us wayward or not. I just think this could be an opportunity to get to work on communication and building on that other skills to create intimacy.

It might get hard and uncomfortable at first, even ugly... but sometimes it's like that before good things can happen.

I can't imagine you or her want to continue like it is. So why not get down to it?

Zugzwang posted 4/8/2020 08:26 AM

Ambivalence...as in the Plain of Lethal Flatness? Yeah, for me that was worse than anger. It is scarier when they check out. Which in my case just was the result of my actions. Defensiveness and not doing what needed to be done. I mean, think about it...the BS isn't going to hit their head against a brick wall forever. At that point, I still needed to get it and own it. Peace can be good though, it will give you the silence to focus on yourself and how you feel about yourself instead of focusing on her and the marriage.

am452 posted 4/14/2020 18:33 PM

I find the lack of intimacy but peace to be the hardest part, because it's so different from what we've been doing.
I feel shut out and rejected but I am a mad hatter and his OP is also stuck at home so it's almost like we are competing for his attention and affections.
I work at Dunkin and BH worked at a warehouse but got fired before quarantine. We both try to look at it as a blessing so we can work on R but it makes it hard to have nowhere to go when BH wants space.
It's that cruel game of 2 steps forward, 5 back.

Lostallalone posted 4/17/2020 19:39 PM

Well I believe I am in the final stages of this corona virus. About a week ago I woke up in a cold sweat and shivers and body aches. My temp was 102.6. Next day I had a phone appt with my family dr. He asked about other symptoms. No cough. No nausea. No chest congestion. He said give it a week. If more symptoms appear to call back. So aside from taking Tylenol twice a day i pretty much slept sweat shower repeat. Feeling better now.
Now some good news my wife actually took the initiative to bring me water. Cook me bfast and dinner. Checked on me while I was locked in the loft. In general things are up. Thanks people for your support

Voorhees5 posted 4/17/2020 22:38 PM

I am new to this as I am just a couple month removed from what I believe people call d day which I still donít know what that means but I have learned when my wife is upset or I can tell something is wrong and Iím scared to address it due to the pain and hurt of the argument I know will come it only makes it worse. It makes her feel like I donít notice and donít care. Take any signs or signals and use them as opportunities to be open and communicate and show her you care about what she is going through. Best of luck from someone going through it all right now too.

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