SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Just Found Out

samarkanda11 posted 2/22/2020 18:08 PM

My husband and I have been together since College, 2 decades now and a few months ago I found out he had met a couple of girls in chat rooms, I saw messages in his phone and I confribted him, he said it was nothing serious and he would stop. Now after digging through all his emails,computer etc I finally find out that not only he charged a few month ago but also in 2014 when our daughter was just a baby. I am devastated. I have seen the photos these girls sent him and the WhatsApp texts that they exchanged- he has kept all of them in a external hard drive. He says that all that is the past and will not cheat again. He says he loves me so much and wants To be happy again with me and our daughter. I don’t trust anything and I know that with one iof them he has kept in touch by emails, in a very casual friendly way because they share the same profession and they discuss work matters. She lives abroad but I still think she is very much a threat and I know he loves him and doesn't care he is married. The other girl who he had sex with shut him down as soon as he revealed he was married so I am not as worried, I want to give him a chance on one hand but on another I feel
I would be happier by myself. I am still very attractive and I think I deserve better, my daughter also deserves better. I also asked him to delete all the photos and messages but he is reluctant because he may want to look at them when he is older knowing that someone else apart from me was interested but that hurts me terribly. I cannot sleep, I am losing weight and I cannot talk to anyone cause I am embarrassed. Somehow I wished he had left me for one of them, it would be easier to start my life again. Instead we carry on being a couple, intimacy is great but in my head I hate him and I hate myself for putting up with him, does it get any better with time? I am lost and desperate. Natalie

Edie posted 2/23/2020 17:01 PM

he is reluctant because he may want to look at them when he is older knowing that someone else apart from me was interested but that hurts me terribly.

He wants to look at people who hurt his wife badly?!?

Shame on him. Seeing as he does not feel any shame.

You do not deserve this philandering, this lack of care, this lying and this self absorption of his. Perhaps you need to ask yourself what you want. Where you want to be in your life in 10 years time.

Hugs, am sorry you are here.