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On being a social pariah

MaryG posted 4/9/2019 11:20 AM

For some time, my friendís H has been giving me unwanted and unrequited attention (heís a known philanderer). My friend now knows about his behaviour and is defending him, saying heís totally innocent, just a bit insensitive. Needless to say our friendship is probably over. But it got me thinking, there really is no place for divorced women in social circles - certainly not in the small town where I live. Married women see us as man-hungry and a threat to their marriages and (some) married men think itís ok to have a go since nobody would believe a divorceeís word against a respectable married man!
I wonder if anybody else feels the same?

ErinHa posted 4/9/2019 11:58 AM

That sounds really unfortunate and not a healthy lifestyle. Sad that other women see YOU as the threat (wouldn't their husbands be the real threat to their marriage??).

I live in a very liberal place and thankfully have felt totally accepted. In fact, I think many women are jealous of me because I'm single and they are still in crappy marriages.

I'm so sorry about the way you're feeling, it sucks.

nothisfriend posted 4/9/2019 12:18 PM

I live in a very small town and I don't feel that way at all. If anything I feel like my friends and their husbands have circled around to make me feel protected and if I need any help it would be there in an instant.

HappyTree posted 4/9/2019 12:34 PM

I have not noticed that. What I have noticed are a few friends who think my life is so great because I'm always doing interesting things. What they cannot understand is that I am doing whatever I can to keep myself from being depressed. I would trade this life for married life any day.

Furious1 posted 4/9/2019 13:25 PM

I have noticed that myself on the rare occasions where I am actually around people.

Sadly, I have to admit that I was one of those women who wasn't all that friendly to divorced women back when I was with STBXHole. In my defense, STBXHole was one of those guys who would act the fool to make the moves on them. If I said anything to him to try to get him to back off, he would smear me as though I were somehow jealous. If I didn't say anything, he would be way too chummy with them while they both turned hateful towards me. It was a no win situation for me.

Now I am on the other side of that so I understand the mindset. It just saddens me that there are others suffering because their spouses make them feel so disrespected and vulnerable due to their crappy treatment so that they have to live such a guarded and tortured existence. I find it disgusting and I lose all desire to be around the couple.


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