Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Ganon27

Just Found Out :
And I'm back.

This Topic is Archived
default

 Sweet16 (original poster new member #70046) posted at 8:04 PM on Sunday, March 31st, 2019

Yay. /sarcasm

Shortly after the first confrontation, I found out that my WS was again in contact with AP. The second confrontation was less remorseful and, in fact, he seemed angry at having been found out and blamed me for his choice to have an EA with sexing/phone sex. Still, he again promised to go NC and I chose to believe and trust him.

Then, again, it became apparent to me that he was again in contact with her, so I put a VAR in his car and yup, they were back at it. I confronted him, he denied it, and then told me that life is too short to live suspicious of everything he does/doesn't do and that I can do whatever I need to (e.g. contact an attorney).

At the same time, he's texting me sweet nothings and songs that are significant to us, but I'm not buying what he's selling this time.

That's where I am, and that's the short of it. I don't want to put too many details here for obvious reasons.

D-day 1 early March 2019
D-day 2 late March 2019
It's complicated, and his affair(s) have never stopped. Just treading water.

posts: 32   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2019
id 8354267
default

Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 8:20 PM on Sunday, March 31st, 2019

He's an unremorseful cheater, he's shown you who he is, believe him, "Life's too short", precisely the point, consult a D attorney and have him served without warning.

posts: 2738   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2018
id 8354278
default

 Sweet16 (original poster new member #70046) posted at 9:55 PM on Sunday, March 31st, 2019

As it is.

In the meantime (until I can save for a retainer), I plan to do consultations. First, the free ones, and then I guess strategically choosing those with cost.

D-day 1 early March 2019
D-day 2 late March 2019
It's complicated, and his affair(s) have never stopped. Just treading water.

posts: 32   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2019
id 8354321
default

LivingWithPain ( member #60578) posted at 10:24 PM on Sunday, March 31st, 2019

He's not going to stop. Go see an attorney.

Me - 39; WW - 36
Married 13 years
1 Adopted Son age 18
Still married and living together: attempting to reconcile.

posts: 1072   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2017
id 8354338
default

The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:38 PM on Sunday, March 31st, 2019

I’m sorry he has chosen to continue cheating.

At least you know the love bombing tactic won’t work anymore.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14748   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8354355
default

Hurtbeyondtime ( member #58376) posted at 1:10 AM on Monday, April 1st, 2019

So sorry... it’s time to dump him and kick him to the curb. See and attorney and get an protection order so you can get him

Out of your house.

Stay strong and pull up your bitch boots 👢

Still don't trust him.

posts: 635   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2017
id 8354387
default

Dispirited ( member #59226) posted at 2:24 AM on Monday, April 1st, 2019

I am amazed at how a seemingly loving coe "suddenly" reverts to this. Not only have I have been there before, but I also understand the issue when children are involved, I had no children and thank God for that.

Logically....when there are parents involved, it has to suck for any children who can readily sense when parents are not caring for their needs.

And so...based upon a joint caring for any children. they always suffer because when a relationship dissolves, there is ALWAYS a reaction. So yet another issue...when parents split, what is the effect of "grown" children. There is NO negative effect? I differ. What is curious is to what or how people lend themselves to others. Children or not, people are usually "good" and care about others OR the opposite. And as always, the innocent ones are always in the middle.

Inasmuch as all of this sucks, please do not affect children just because you couldn't get along with anyone. It is unfair that children suffer due to a falling out of their parents. And when anyone uses their children as "pawns", then you will hear from me.

posts: 206   ·   registered: Jun. 15th, 2017
id 8354415
default

Dispirited ( member #59226) posted at 2:36 AM on Monday, April 1st, 2019

Yay. /sarcasm

Shortly after the first confrontation, I found out that my WS was again in contact with AP. The second confrontation was less remorseful and, in fact, he seemed angry at having been found out and blamed me for his choice to have an EA with sexing/phone sex. Still, he again promised to go NC and I chose to believe and trust him.

Then, again, it became apparent to me that he was again in contact with her, so I put a VAR in his car and yup, they were back at it. I confronted him, he denied it, and then told me that life is too short to live suspicious of everything he does/doesn't do and that I can do whatever I need to (e.g. contact an attorney).

At the same time, he's texting me sweet nothings and songs that are significant to us, but I'm not buying what he's selling this time.

That's where I am, and that's the short of it. I don't want to put too many details here for obvious reasons.

A classic case of cake and eat it too....I understand the "sweet nothings" and how that simply lends to the slap in the face. No one can gauge the extent of betrayal(individually) and even more so the text messages to you.

You have to dtermine if your partner- after knowing involvelement with another is enough to call it quits. The fact that he gives you stories....BS....etc., is that not enough to remove your well-deserved person from those who have failed you AND have gone elsewhere?

Always a personal decision and not always easy to just walk away. Yet, when one insults another by breaking vows or commitment, then IMO, you're done.

posts: 206   ·   registered: Jun. 15th, 2017
id 8354421
default

 Sweet16 (original poster new member #70046) posted at 12:39 PM on Monday, April 1st, 2019

Dispirited

I’m not sure your message was for me, still I feel it needs a response.

My children are cared for, 95% of the time, by me. Yes, the loss of their father as my spouse will bring sadness to them, yet I hope and intend to co-parent peacefully. They are so little and we have a long way to go on this parenting journey.

D-day 1 early March 2019
D-day 2 late March 2019
It's complicated, and his affair(s) have never stopped. Just treading water.

posts: 32   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2019
id 8354519
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy