SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Just Found Out

Sweet16 posted 3/31/2019 14:04 PM

Yay. /sarcasm

Shortly after the first confrontation, I found out that my WS was again in contact with AP. The second confrontation was less remorseful and, in fact, he seemed angry at having been found out and blamed me for his choice to have an EA with sexing/phone sex. Still, he again promised to go NC and I chose to believe and trust him.

Then, again, it became apparent to me that he was again in contact with her, so I put a VAR in his car and yup, they were back at it. I confronted him, he denied it, and then told me that life is too short to live suspicious of everything he does/doesn't do and that I can do whatever I need to (e.g. contact an attorney).

At the same time, he's texting me sweet nothings and songs that are significant to us, but I'm not buying what he's selling this time.

That's where I am, and that's the short of it. I don't want to put too many details here for obvious reasons.

Buster123 posted 3/31/2019 14:20 PM

He's an unremorseful cheater, he's shown you who he is, believe him, "Life's too short", precisely the point, consult a D attorney and have him served without warning.

Sweet16 posted 3/31/2019 15:55 PM

As it is.

In the meantime (until I can save for a retainer), I plan to do consultations. First, the free ones, and then I guess strategically choosing those with cost.

LivingWithPain posted 3/31/2019 16:24 PM

He's not going to stop. Go see an attorney.

The1stWife posted 3/31/2019 17:38 PM

I’m sorry he has chosen to continue cheating.

At least you know the love bombing tactic won’t work anymore.

Hurtbeyondtime posted 3/31/2019 19:10 PM

So sorry... it’s time to dump him and kick him to the curb. See and attorney and get an protection order so you can get him
Out of your house.
Stay strong and pull up your bitch boots 👢

Dispirited posted 3/31/2019 20:24 PM

I am amazed at how a seemingly loving coe "suddenly" reverts to this. Not only have I have been there before, but I also understand the issue when children are involved, I had no children and thank God for that.

Logically....when there are parents involved, it has to suck for any children who can readily sense when parents are not caring for their needs.

And so...based upon a joint caring for any children. they always suffer because when a relationship dissolves, there is ALWAYS a reaction. So yet another issue...when parents split, what is the effect of "grown" children. There is NO negative effect? I differ. What is curious is to what or how people lend themselves to others. Children or not, people are usually "good" and care about others OR the opposite. And as always, the innocent ones are always in the middle.

Inasmuch as all of this sucks, please do not affect children just because you couldn't get along with anyone. It is unfair that children suffer due to a falling out of their parents. And when anyone uses their children as "pawns", then you will hear from me.

Dispirited posted 3/31/2019 20:36 PM

Yay. /sarcasm

Shortly after the first confrontation, I found out that my WS was again in contact with AP. The second confrontation was less remorseful and, in fact, he seemed angry at having been found out and blamed me for his choice to have an EA with sexing/phone sex. Still, he again promised to go NC and I chose to believe and trust him.

Then, again, it became apparent to me that he was again in contact with her, so I put a VAR in his car and yup, they were back at it. I confronted him, he denied it, and then told me that life is too short to live suspicious of everything he does/doesn't do and that I can do whatever I need to (e.g. contact an attorney).

At the same time, he's texting me sweet nothings and songs that are significant to us, but I'm not buying what he's selling this time.

That's where I am, and that's the short of it. I don't want to put too many details here for obvious reasons.

A classic case of cake and eat it too....I understand the "sweet nothings" and how that simply lends to the slap in the face. No one can gauge the extent of betrayal(individually) and even more so the text messages to you.

You have to dtermine if your partner- after knowing involvelement with another is enough to call it quits. The fact that he gives you stories....BS....etc., is that not enough to remove your well-deserved person from those who have failed you AND have gone elsewhere?

Always a personal decision and not always easy to just walk away. Yet, when one insults another by breaking vows or commitment, then IMO, you're done.

Sweet16 posted 4/1/2019 06:39 AM

Dispirited
I’m not sure your message was for me, still I feel it needs a response.

My children are cared for, 95% of the time, by me. Yes, the loss of their father as my spouse will bring sadness to them, yet I hope and intend to co-parent peacefully. They are so little and we have a long way to go on this parenting journey.