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Agnostic/Atheist Support Group

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SisterMilkshake posted 3/5/2018 16:14 PM

Thanks, sisoon. Yes, I am not letting my imagination get ahead of me. I will focus on today and not let myself go any further. It is horrifying and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. (Not even OW!)

crazyblindsided posted 3/5/2018 16:26 PM

(((SisterMilkshake))) I have no words that will take away the pain. I am so very sorry I also do not believe in a God and if there is one I have questions... lot's of them in regards to how unjust everything is. I liken life on earth sometimes to be a living hell. Peace and strength to you and your family.

SisterMilkshake posted 3/6/2018 08:54 AM

Thank you for the hugs and thoughts, crazyblindsided. There really isn't anything anyone can say.

I liken life on earth sometimes to be a living hell.
Yes, I agree.

BlueIris posted 3/6/2018 09:43 AM

(((SMS and family)))

Several years ago - at least 10 - a friend of mine’s then-20-month old son, Elias, was dx’d with stage 4 neuroblastoma. It was a week before Christmas.

On their most recent visit (just last year) to Sloan-Kettering for son’s annual follow up, she overheard a doctor talking about her son with the parents of a new patient; that’s when she learned that Elias had actually been end-stage as well.

Elias is doing well. He wears a hearing aid (or maybe two?) from the after affects of the treatment he received, but otherwise he’s a normal teen boy in every way.

My understanding is that Sloan-Kettering is the best place to be for treatment of that particular cancer. Since you’re already in “the great white north USA”, is it possible for your sweet grandson to have his care transferred there?

I agree with you about that phrase “everything happens for a reason”; it is SUCH b.s. Sending our wishes for hope and peace and healing to you and yours. If I can do anything, please ask. I can also ask Elias’s mom if she has any advice, if you think that would be helpful. Much love to you, SMS!

SisterMilkshake posted 3/11/2018 13:06 PM

Thank you, Blue Iris. I appreciate your kind words and thoughts. We need to hear these stories of survival to hang on to hope.

I too have heard that Sloan-Kettering is the best for this type of cancer. However, my daughter didn't feel as though she had the time to switch care and feels positive about where her son is being treated.

ff4152 posted 3/13/2018 06:16 AM


I’m so sorry to hear about your grandson. Peace to you, your family and most importantly to that darling little boy.

SisterMilkshake posted 3/13/2018 09:16 AM

Thank you, ff4152. I am so sad.

Cephastion posted 3/13/2018 10:28 AM

I am not an agnostic or atheist, but I have GOOD friends that are, and I have wrestled HEAVILY with many of the questions and grievances that I see on this forum and from MANY other real life people I know myself.

I actually SHARE MANY of the frustrations and grievances that many of ya'll have regarding religion and so-called Christians who supposedly practice such as well.

I have a number of beliefs that get me into all kinds of trouble and hot water with other "Christians", because I am VERY vocal and confrontational with hypocrites and liars and their obnoxiousness which they peddle without shame or introspection at their own bad results or logic centers.

The reason I am posting in here is because I notice some folks having seemingly unresolved questions or anger regarding faith or faith-based people, and I want to give any of ya'll an opportunity to have some open Q&A or venting or sharing or whatever with someone like myself who probably agrees with a LOT of your issues and/or logic, but has come to some different conclusions about things based on personal real-life experiences and personal (non-borrowed or indoctrinated) studies on some of these matters.

And I too have suffered MUCH loss and trauma including my mom to cancer when I was 18 as well as abuse of many kinds from religious, lying haters.

In coming to my own reckoning with things concerning justice, right & wrong, and "God" I can offer a very different perspective on how to account for the evils of this life, but I'm no evangelist, really. Just a fellow soul who's suffered a HELL of a lot and want to actually treat others like I'd want to be treated (like if I were in some of your shoes and wanted to tell a frikkin "Christian" just exactly what I thought/felt about him and his religion/God, for example.)

I hope my offer here isn't misunderstood to be any kind of attack or seemingly selfish/religious exercise to get ya'll all riled up or to win some brownie points for myself somewhere in this life or the next. I just know how I felt and still feel about adultery and lies and fakers and false people and "beliefs" and I want ya'll to know that you aren't alone in hating such bullshit and bullshitters.

In other words, I'm offering a kind of "support". That's all. I myself am MUCH too traumatized (largely by "Christians" and religious leaders, incidentally) and stuff to be wanting to have any kind of stupid fights just for fighting's sake. I only mean to offer myself as one who wants the best for all of us who are here in this often-shitty world, and because of the polarization of loveless religious people and the hurt and frustrations of the oftentimes more HONEST agnostics and atheists, I don't see much reaching out from one side to the other to help each side see the whole picture instead of the spoon-fed, or seeing-red version of the thing.

Since I myself along have wrestled with these thoughts (agnostic/atheist) or rather the oft-associated grievances that accompany such a belief/non-belief set, I figure that kinda sorta qualifies me to post here, particularly since my wife STILL struggles with many of these issues herself even now. Consequently, I mean no offense by my first-time presence and posting here.

Please feel free to accept or decline my offer to talk about any of this, but in the meantime, my PM mailbox is open.

WhatsRight posted 3/13/2018 11:26 AM

Full disclosure: I am Christian. That being said, I hope you will allow to respond here with no intentions to project my beliefs here in anyway.

I just HAVE to say to you, SMS, I am so very devastated about the news concerning your grand baby. I can't imagine the shock and hurt (and anger) surrounding this situation.

There are no words...just an effort to tell you how sorry I an for this, and that you are in my thoughts...and sending lots of positive energy your way.

I would like to offer that some of us with a faith in a higher being do not believe that these things are "done" to people. I surely don't. Most especially to your precious, innocent grand baby.

Also, I wanted to share the concept that control is an illusion...whether you are a person of faith or not.

I wish so badly I could be of some comfort to you. You are loved!

WhatsRight posted 3/13/2018 11:27 AM

If I screwed up by posting sincerest apologies to all.

Newlease posted 3/14/2018 15:22 PM


The universe is random and there is nothing "fair" about it. All you can do is endeavor to have the strength to get through what you must endure and some sort of peace of mind. The strength part is easier than the peace.

Sending them both to you.


SisterMilkshake posted 3/15/2018 14:31 PM

WhatsRight, thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. You have such a heavy burden to carry, also, so thank you so very much for your compassion. It is very much appreciated. You are loved, too, as I feel you are an amazing woman. P.S. I am not offended at all that you posted here. I don't know if others would be. I feel we all are a rather tolerant sort.

NewLease, thank you. I do feel you are right. Especially the "strength" and "peace" part. And, that is all I ever crave in my life. Peace and serenity.


In coming to my own reckoning with things concerning justice, right & wrong, and "God" I can offer a very different perspective on how to account for the evils of this life,
Thank you for your thoughtful offer. I will decline at this time. I do know that your intent comes from a kind and wounded heart and that is appreciated.

wildbananas posted 3/19/2018 13:35 PM

SMS, I'm so sorry... I can't even imagine.

It's not fair at all.

SisterMilkshake posted 3/19/2018 20:14 PM

Thank you, wildbananas. He is such a lovely wonderful little person.

ZenMumWalking posted 3/19/2018 20:36 PM

((((SMS & family & especially DD & DGS))))

I am so sorry, what devastating news. I am sending out loads and loads of positive, healing thoughts and hope in the wisdom of your grandson's caretakers.

I too consider myself atheist (promoted from agnostic in my teens!). I like you cannot imagine a kind, loving and all-powerful being who could do this to an innocent child, and yet allow serial killers to get away with horrific crimes for years and never getting caught. Makes no sense.

And not to t/j (too much), but what god would allow my precious DS to get raped??

When someone sends me prayers, I accept their good intentions. I know that they do not intend to cause offence, they are expressing their kind thoughts in the way they know how. And we can never have too many kind thoughts supporting us.

I hope that the worst does not come to pass, and in 10-20 years this will be seen as a small blip in the radar while DGS grows into a man.

Hang in there Sister.


Tred posted 3/19/2018 20:49 PM


Sorry to hear about your grandson. I offer you all the condolences an average organism on a cool little planet beside an insignificant star among billions can offer.

SisterMilkshake posted 3/19/2018 22:03 PM

Thank you so much DMW and Tred. It really is a lift to me when others share kind thoughts, prayers, words of support to us. We really can use all the positivity we can get.

I agree so much with you DMW. If there is a god he must be malevolent to allow such pain and evil that your DS has experienced and the suffering my sweet, loving grandson is experiencing along with his Mama, Papa and brothers. Sending much love and strength to you DMW. We both need to hang in there! Others need us.

ISurvivedSoFar posted 3/19/2018 22:58 PM

Oh SMS how does one cope with such devastating news? I'm not sure how you or your children are able to cope. One thing is for sure, you will all be there to support each other. I hope sincerely that this creates a support system that in some way helps all of you know that you are there for each other, will hold each other up and will love on that grandbaby with all of your hearts and souls and that grandbaby will know love for sure.

The existence of a supernatural being has no bearing on my life - and I don't expect that religious folks will understand that perspective but that said, you have a host of folks on SI that are thinking of you and sending support your way. There is value in those that will hold you up and we're here for you.

I wish there was a way to take away your pain. (((SMS)))

SisterMilkshake posted 3/26/2018 16:41 PM

Thank you for your kind words of support, ISurvivedSoFar. I hope that is true about being able to support each other but right now we are all lost. I am drowning in sadness. I am helpless and useless.

I can not believe this is happening to my sweet grandson. His hair is falling out in clumps. They are going to shave his head. It is becoming all too real. I can not bear being awake. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep.

Thank you all for keeping us all in your thoughts. So appreciated.

ZenMumWalking posted 3/26/2018 17:08 PM

I'm so sorry that DGS and your whole family is going through this trauma. Of course you are overcome with sadness.

Trust in the care providers that they are doing everything possible, the rest is out of anyone's control.

You are all in my thoughts.

((((SMS & family))))

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