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Agnostic/Atheist Support Group

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glowworm posted 12/28/2016 05:17 AM

Sisoon, thanks for your response; it must have been extremely difficult to make that choice.

I am hesistant to re-post in G or R; I hate drawing attention to myself. I am totally OK with you re-posting the contents as a new thread under your nickname, however, if you would like to discuss the issue with a wider audience!

fireandflame posted 12/28/2016 17:11 PM

I agree that this is a really really good question and I think this is in the wrong place and deserve a thread of its own.

sisoon posted 12/28/2016 18:39 PM

glowworm,

It's a great question. I suspect you'll get a very positive response if you post it in G or R - and you'll deserve the positive attention. And since it's your question, I won't steal it. Besides, a guideline pretty much prohibits copying stuff from one forum into another.

Actually, it wasn't difficult for me to make those choices. I love my W, and she really stepped up on and after d-day. It would have been very difficult for me to have chosen D.

If it's difficult for you to choose R, maybe the A is a deal killer for you. If that's so, you can choose D and hold your head as anybody else can, despite different choices.

There's a right choice for you, but there's no right choice that works for everybody. Alas, sometimes it's just hard to figure out what one's right choice is.

glowworm posted 12/29/2016 04:57 AM

OK, you got me convinced. I will re-post the topic in G. Thx for the encouragement, both, and for sharing your experience, Sisoon. It is far different from mine, but I think I might still be high up in the fog (hence the Q about distorted cognitions).

dreamlife posted 12/29/2016 07:22 AM

I am not into any Organized Religion.....at all.

ff4152 posted 1/29/2017 16:59 PM

I always had a problem with religion because of the conflict with science. I also see the hypocrisy that exists when so called preachers live in multi million dollar homes and fly in private jets. Priests molesting children and the list goes on.

All of that being said, I do think the underlying message of most religions are honest and good. Love thy fellow man, be one to one another etc. is definitely something to admire.

Tred posted 2/7/2017 19:27 PM

I can't post the link, but if you haven't seen Ricky Gervais on the Late Show with Colbert, it's pretty damn good. Google it. I really enjoyed the depth of his remarks about 4 minutes in describing how he sees science and religion differently. And his point about believing in one less god than Colbert was pretty funny and I don't think of heard of that angle of rebuttal before.

Sweetbutfoolish7 posted 2/25/2017 08:24 AM

I'm so happy too see this in the forum..makes me go Yes yesyes thank you!

I was taken out of public school and put in private .2 grade my abusive grandparents said it was so I would be a good girl.
Ya that's didn't happen because of this I disliked religion.. And I made it a point ever Friday too get kicked out of church.. 8 yrs of having hypocrisy shoved down my throat .the last day from there I burned my school uniform on the front door lol.. I was a rebel as a kid lol
What I find crazy is seeing first hand the abuse from theses so called ( brothers and sister) sick things they did too children.wow .

People ask me what do you believe in I said the sun..because I can see it..it grows food and plants and life they think I'm crazy..
Anyhow thank you for allowing us a place too go here..

With everything that has happened when people say I'll pray for you..I say please don't because bad shit happens then...

theseseatsRtaken posted 3/4/2017 18:59 PM

Wow i never knew this was here! Yay!! Honestly i find it hard to keep a lid on my beliefs when people so openly speak in the context of their religion in G, R & WS. Some often refer to scripture or to the example of their relationship with their god. I even get antsy when people suggest prayer. I know it often comes from a place of genuine caring and desire to help. It just makes me so mad still. If i wanted change for someone deeply enough - i would go out there and ndo something to help. And if i couldn't help, i wouldnt want to fill them with hope that the same bloke who reckons giving kids bone cancer is cool - will give the slightest whiff of a fuck about a few people struggling with infidelity .... Let alone he might actually intervene.

Despite the beleivers rarely being picked up on their biblical references, i feel like such a point of view - obviously said with more diplomacy - would get shot down anywhere but here. Does anyone else feel that way? It actually feels like a microcosm of society at large. Athiest views are always seen as antagonistic by default. Whereas religious views are so often protected from criticism purely for being religious - its absurd!

Ladybug71 posted 3/15/2017 09:45 AM

My husband and I are atheists. The OW that he had an EA with is very religious. Within a few weeks I started questioning myself what was going on with him. He had this sudden interest in religion. When I asked why the change he said that since he wasn't raised with any religion now that he is older he has questions. My gut told me that something was up so I started digging. I found emailed links to bible verse, you tube videos from her church Sunday services and even some links to religious songs. I knew what was going on and with who it was going on with. I collected more and more evidence. I noticed a change in him emotionally. He always seemed like he had something to tell me but could never do it. I sat back and waited a little while and then one day he confessed everything to, every detail. He went NC and we've come a long way with R. When I questioned him about the religion stuff I found he said that yes the OW tried to get him involved in religion and she would send him bible verses that she twisted the meaning of to fit her addenda such as "they were meant to be because god pushed them together to the same location two they could meet each other. I think the comment he made to me after his confession is spot on "I tried religion but during that brief moment in my life I made the most hateful and hurtful decisions of my life" He knows that religion didn't make him have an EA that it was ultimately his decision but what the Ow kept telling him through religion was that it's ok cause it's gods way. I bogggles my mind how some people who are so religious do hurtful things but come Sunday they are all forgiven cause they went to church.

sisoon posted 3/15/2017 13:29 PM

My son is an atheist. I overheard this conversation between son and 7 year old GS:

GS: Do you believe in Santa Claus?
S: Well, no.
GS: Well, I do.

a moment of silence

GS: Do you believe in God?
S: No, I don't, but some people here right now disagree.
GS: Well, I don't believe in God, but I believe in Santa Claus.

I'm really proud of my GS!

[This message edited by sisoon at 1:31 PM, March 15th (Wednesday)]

Unhinged posted 3/15/2017 21:56 PM

Umm... excuse me, Mr. Sisoon, sir, but this thread is for us heathens.

I'm an atheist, as well (and still respect the hell out of sisoon!!!). I tend to shy away from members who are deeply religious. It's just not a part of my experience and I find myself struggling to relate to them. I will still try, as I can, to reply and offer what support and advice I can, but beyond that, I get lost.

Honestly, though, I don't think it matters much here, on SI. At least, I haven't felt ostracized or criticized or anything like that because I'm an atheist. I think the bonds that are created here transcend the differences between us.

More importantly, though, I'm starting to appreciate other peoples' faith a little bit more. It's a part of who they are. For nearly two years now, sisoon has been a true friend, a real rock for me, an awesome guide. Who am I to question this man's beliefs when those very beliefs may well be a huge part of why and how he's been such a tremendous help?

Sure, it's always easy to find the hypocrisy in someone's religious beliefs, particularly when they're being extremely hypocritical. I do worry, often enough, that members who are deeply religious will expect too much from God, and not do the work themselves. That's the only time I have, or would even express, my concerns to another member.

And for what it's worth, I believe in Santa Claus, too.

[This message edited by Unhinged at 9:57 PM, March 15th (Wednesday)]

sisoon posted 3/16/2017 08:00 AM

Actually, Unhinged, I'm now agnostic.

The Evolution of God blew away any of my minimal belief that the Bible is at all historical, though I think things like Prophets, Kings, Talmud and Acts are history.

But I was born and brought up a Jew, and when I'm in that mode, I believe that the Messiah hasn't arrived yet.

I do see some stuff that could be evidence that there really is a God, and S/He has given up on us, but that's not discussable on SI.

Footinmouth posted 3/17/2017 14:20 PM

Hey everyone not sure if I am allowed to post this, so my apologize in advance if this is not allowed. I myself am a person of deep faith, but no worries I am not hear to preach lol I just wanted to offer my support for your group. Everyone needs support and understanding and someon to hear them. I know how awful it can be when people try to force something down your throats when you are in pain and just want some compassion. It's wonderful to see so many diverse groups of people supporting eachother. No matter what we believe we all share our pain. I wish the best for all of you, awesome for supporting eachother!

Snapdragon posted 3/17/2017 17:40 PM

Hi Footinmouth,
Your post is very sweet and I'm sure will be appreciated by all. I read in this forum but have never posted. Your post brought me out!

We all need understanding, tolerance, and acceptance of our own personal beliefs. Life is not a "one size fits all" thing. The fact that you have your faith is beautiful. Please take solace and strength in it.

Thank you!

theakronborg posted 3/17/2017 17:57 PM

I do worry, often enough, that members who are deeply religious will expect too much from God, and not do the work themselves

I have to say I don't worry about those members too much. I'm too busy worrying about myself! And maybe that is enough of an answer for them, who knows?

As a little background, I waver between being atheist / agnostic / polytheist / pantheist. Which is probably why I go to "church" among the unitarian universalists!

I am grateful for my friends who are deeply religious and have never said that I should trust in any higher power in this situation. I accept their prayers with gratitude. I even let one pray with me right after dday. I know she was speaking her heart and of her love for me and it meant a lot to me to share that moment and know she has my back. If God has hers, great.

The thing that bugs me the most is the prevalence of religious based books and articles dealing with infidelity. Sometimes it can be hard to wean out the helpful stuff, and I do believe it is there at least some of the time.

Unhinged posted 3/18/2017 09:13 AM

Oh... the good ole' UU Church. My fww's a member of our local one. I'll join her once in a while, mostly because the reverend is a pretty interesting guy and, occasionally, something really resonates in his sermons. I'm still not a believer, though, and the rest of the service is kind of lost on me.

theakronborg posted 3/18/2017 13:07 PM

I worry about posting this, because I'd hate to seem like I'm pushing any particular organization, but at least at our UU church, being a "believer" is not required. If it were, I'd be out the door in a flash! It is nice to belong to a community of thoughtful people where everyone's beliefs are welcome and enrich the place. At least, that is what it does for me. My teen likes it too. SHe is a developing atheist and goes to high school where conservative Christians are the dominant group, so its nice for her to have the outlet.

sisoon posted 3/18/2017 14:40 PM

I worry about posting this, because I'd hate to seem like I'm pushing any particular organization....

That's important, thea, because if you did, I'd have to spend some time looking for the 'Consumer reports on Religion' that a British satirical group (Beyond the Fringe?) did many years ago. And then I'd have to get the mods' permission to post the URL.

They evaluated religions in 3 areas, IIRC.

1) What do you put into it?
2) What do you get out of it?
3) What about divorce?

If you haven't heard it, it's probably worth looking for. There's an almost 2 hour youtube thing for Beyond the Fringe, and it may be included.

tiredofcrying59 posted 4/26/2017 23:21 PM

Not much action here, lol.

This is weird for me. I consider myself agnostic. I used to be somewhat religious. My parents were VERY religious. I did used to pray, but I've come to believe that no one's out there, or at least not listening. And also why would he/they/whomever answer one person's prayer, and not anothers? I can't justify that in my head.

I used to pray for the answer to what was wrong in my marriage. One of the other members who was religious told me that god answered my prayer because the A brought everything to light and now I could fix it. Well 6 months of pure hell are making me consider just nuking the marriage, so I don't think that's a good answer to a prayer.

Ugh. Just a vent. Also the OW was a hugely phony person from an extreme religion, so that didn't help me support the whole "faith" thing. Because she can't drink coffee, but apparently if she wants to she can screw someone else's husband while ignoring her own.

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