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Need advice from the menz - Middle school.

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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 3:01 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Okay, this fall my son is entering middle school. He's going to be in the 5th grade. Is there anything that I need to talk to him about or prepare him for? I know what middle school is like for girls, but I don't know what it's like for boys.

HELP!!!

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6435147
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aesir ( member #17210) posted at 3:34 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Lunch time football. There's no equipment, and you will bleed. Try not to show weakness, as things turn into Lord of the Flies rather quickly.

Gym class and the locker room, things turn into Lord of the Flies rather quickly.

Lunchroom turns into Lord of the Flies rather quickly.

Hmmm... maybe you should just rent Lord of the Flies and make him watch it.

Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.

posts: 14924   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2007   ·   location: Winnipeg
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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 3:46 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Thanks aesir

What goes on in the locker rooms? For the girls it was just changing and getting into the gym. Maybe a little talk about the latest boy bands. I'm so not ready for middle school.

My son is kind of on the "proper" side. He's always neat and tucked in and follows all the school rules etc... He's almost to the point of being rigid.

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 9:52 AM, August 5th (Monday)]

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6435177
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TattoodChinaDoll ( member #34602) posted at 3:48 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Obviously not a man but I did teach middle school. What other grades are in that school? Fifth grade isn't middle school but if the school has kids up to the 8th grade I can see your worry! In my experience (the school where I taught was 6-8), each grade had their own teachers, own lunch period, own gym class periods, own hallway, and there was never mixing of grades in classes. The teachers of the 6th graders babied them since they were fresh out of elementary school and they acted like babies. Teaching 6th grade was basically teaching elementary school and I didn't see a change in attitude until 7th grade.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6435179
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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 3:50 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

TCD, in my town 5th and 6th are middle school, then 7th and 8th are Jr. High.

I just don't know how the boys are in middle school.

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6435183
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TattoodChinaDoll ( member #34602) posted at 4:10 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

I think you're lucky then. Only a few at that age will be going through puberty. I think that's where everything went down hill. Like I said, 6th grade was like teaching a bunch of whiney, ego-centric babies, 7th grade was hormonal hell (the girls were bitchy and the boys were jerks), and 8th graders had calmed down. Obviously, not all kids are like that. But I started going grey when I started teaching....

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6435210
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bluelady ( member #11061) posted at 5:36 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

If it's a 5-6 school, I don't think you'll have too much to worry about. I teach Junior High (7,8 and 9) and I agree that the majority of the issues I've seen have come with puberty.

Me (BS): 35

Divorced

posts: 1501   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2006   ·   location: a little bit of everywhere
id 6435301
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:51 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Not a man, but a mom of 16 yo boy. The biggest thing at that age was deodorant. Many of the boys start smelling like men at that age. Mine kept it in his book bag, his locker, and his lacrosse bag.

Don't be surprised if your boy suddenly doesn't want to look all nice and neat too. I had a snazzy dresser, and always wanted to look good but grades 6-9 he wanted to look like the rest of the crowd. Now he's back to wanting to dress nice, and asked for a $200 pair of Johnston and Murphy shoes for back to school.... Yah it's good to look nice, um no I'm not buying you $200 shoes. Get a job.

Good Luck mom....

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6435404
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jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 6:57 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Also not a man... but I teach Middle School - 6th-8th grades -

I don't know where Aesir lives but

Lunch time football. There's no equipment, and you will bleed. Try not to show weakness, as things turn into Lord of the Flies rather quickly.

Around here they have about 20 minutes to snarf down food before they run to the next class. No time for football or anything else... since it takes about 10 mins to get thru the lunch line.

Also, 5th is still Elementary... If it's 5th and 6th only I think you're ok... it's not until the very end of 6th that most boys turn into Lord of the Flies material.

Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

posts: 26375   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2009   ·   location: Michigan
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miadianna ( member #10516) posted at 7:04 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

I'll never forget the first day of middle school which for us, is 7th grade or 12 years old.

My son came home after the first day and said "Mom, can we go shopping for some new underwear. I need boxers. We all get dressed together after gym." He was still wearing briefs. Guess that was bad. Then after the first day he asked me if I could sew the fly on the boxers shut because his "thing" pokes out during the day and it bothered him. So, of course, I did. No questions asked. He was a cute kid.

Me: BS 60Son: 34years oldDaughter: 32 years old Divorced 4/10/08XH passed away 6/24/16

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2006
id 6435428
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lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 7:11 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

My son came home after the first day and said "Mom, can we go shopping for some new underwear.

My son did the same thing, except he had to have boxer briefs. Apparently, plain old white briefs were the worst things ever and everyone should be ashamed for even looking at a package of them.

Needless to say, off to the store we went.

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22643   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 6435435
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miadianna ( member #10516) posted at 7:13 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Apparently, plain old white briefs were the worst things ever and everyone should be ashamed for even looking at a package of them

Exactly! I had no idea.

Me: BS 60Son: 34years oldDaughter: 32 years old Divorced 4/10/08XH passed away 6/24/16

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2006
id 6435440
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StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 7:49 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

Know all the exits, always sit nearest to an exit, only ground level windows count as exits re: windows, never go alone and always keep to well lit and high traffic areas.

eta:

Boxer briefs = reduced wedgie damage and higher cling threshold in the event one faces a hostile pants removal.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 1:59 PM, August 5th (Monday)]

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

posts: 7918   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 6435493
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stilllovingher ( member #29959) posted at 7:58 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

yes, get him boxers or boxer briefs.

whitey tighties suck.

The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

posts: 2427   ·   registered: Oct. 27th, 2010   ·   location: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
id 6435506
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 8:08 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

The biggest thing at that age was deodorant. Many of the boys start smelling like men at that age.

Ahhh - that was the age that throat-choking Axe spray was introduced at my house. All the boys were wearing it and I swear they sprayed enough to kill ants within a one mile radius.

I don't remember any big life-lessons when my DS started MS though. The should was very good about keeping them with 'like-ages' so it was not a big transition.

posts: 6985   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 9:08 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

I was already planning on updating his underwear. I was thinking colored briefs, but if boxer briefs are the way to go then I 'll get those. I hope he doesn't have any major issues with the new school year.

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6435605
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TattoodChinaDoll ( member #34602) posted at 11:00 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2013

I like how the only advice gleamed from this thread is to buy boxers/boxer briefs.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6435751
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aesir ( member #17210) posted at 3:58 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

Not true, that Lord of the Flies thing is very serious. It only sounds funny.

Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.

posts: 14924   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2007   ·   location: Winnipeg
id 6436190
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LostandGuilty ( member #30493) posted at 4:11 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

Middle school in FL is 6th through 8th. I remember it being fine in 6th and then hell in 7th and 8th as puberty really kicked in. A lot of raw emotions and fights at the school amongst the boys. All of the girls became quite "bitchy." I have a girl going in to 8th this year and there is plenty of drama with her and her friends. My son made it out of middle school unscathed. The boys have some drama, too.

At the house, there were plenty of long showers and locked doors from 12-years old and on. Always knock, mom, or risk embarrassing both of you.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on" - Robert Frost

BH (36)
DS (16)
DD (14)

posts: 226   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2010   ·   location: FL
id 6436205
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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 1:18 PM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

I guess I'll have to brush up on Lord of the Flies. It's been a while since I last read the book.

My son is still in the "girls have cooties" and "kissing is gross" phase. I just hope that lasts a little longer.

Are there any "talks" I need to have with him before hand?

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6436479
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