SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I read a lot here. Sometimes I don't type much, but I read a lot.

I was sitting here reading for a couple of hours, and was left thinking "wow".

I'm blown away really by the people who went through this and took the time to write these amazing, healing posts. I'm blown away by how true the things people say here turned out to be once I had hindsight.

There's so many BSs who have the most amazing courage and strength. There's so little anger and self pity, and so much generosity and hope.

I am also really touched, actually almost tearful, reading the contributions from the WSs. Especially ones who take the time to give BSs what they can't get from their own spouses.

I'm touched, honestly, by the courage some of you have had to GET IT, OWN IT and then pay forward to generosity you were once given.

It's s very touching site to be honest. Such a painful, hellish subject but then the human beings here impress me.

Thank you.

"I am also really touched, actually almost tearful, reading the contributions from the WSs. Especially ones who take the time to give BSs what they can't get from their own spouses."

I couldn't agree more with this.

When I was a newbie here, I was trying to make sure my H was being truthful and that I had the full story. A very kind WW reached out to help me with something. I was so touched by their kindness.

Their insight is invaluable!!

Honestly, I think the kindness of some of these people has saved my sanity in all this!

Honestly, I think the kindness of some of these people has saved my sanity in all this!

I totally agree - except at this point I can change the word "think" to "know" - seriously this place kept me off the ledge. It truly saved me - and it's an honor to be a "guide" now, which basically was the go-ahead from the fine administrators of this site to "ramble on"! :)

[This message edited by ThisIsSoLonely at 8:04 PM, Tuesday, September 12th]

I think staying on to help others is incredibly generous

After true R started and I had the written timeline I spend months processing all of it. Some of it didn't make sense to me and a lot of it didn't make sense to my W. I found a lot of answers through ICR and the FWS here. They had already worked and processed the whys and it really helped me (us) find the answers to the whys. I appreciate everyone that contributes, including a new member that encourages others and shares their struggles, you never know who you are helping.

I'm blown away really by the people who went through this and took the time to write these amazing, healing posts. I'm blown away by how true the things people say here turned out to be once I had hindsight.

I agree with this so much. I can't tell you how many times I went back to re-read something that I had apparently gone over my head early on in my healing, and find that with the benefit of time, hindsight and maybe some healing, it had been so incredibly accurate. The amount of collective kindness, empathy, and knowledge that has been passed back and forth between members here is truly incredible.

Honestly, I think the kindness of some of these people has saved my sanity in all this!

I've said this more than once. I don't know how I would have gotten through the first year after dday1 without SI. I mean, I would have gotten through it one way or the other, but it was enormously comforting to be able to be on here and talking to people who knew exactly what I was feeling, no matter how insane I felt at the time! It has also proven to be really awesome watching others grow and heal - this community is really unique and amazing and even it was the shittiest reason ever that I had to join it, I am so glad I did.

And paying forward the kindness and wisdom I got when I needed it is why I am still here almost 5 years later.

And just internally said Wow... FIVE years. Five of them. Feels like lifetimes since then!!

T/J

And just internally said Wow... FIVE years. Five of them. Feels like lifetimes since then!!

I recall you and I were on a similar timeline Ellie - which I realize is like saying I remember you... we were circling the same drain together!

End T/J

There's some posts on here I've read 25 times. Over time they take on new meanings too and I understand things in a new way.

I'm in full agreement here as well. I honestly feel like all who post here are now family, at least for me you are all my family, and I protect and help my family in any way I can. ❤️

The people on this site have been a lifesaver to me, too.

I live in an area with a serious shortage of therapists/counselors, so having this site has been especially important to me. Thank you all.

I would be divorced without this site, I am positive. I have learned so much from my fellow fws. They gave me the needle and thread to sow together so many things I needed to work on. But the generosity of the bs over the years helping me to find all the little nuggets to be remorseful over and to help me pinpoint what I needed to do for my husband was amazing. And they patiently guided me when I found I had been betrayed as well. It’s been a rich experience.

I was talking to one of my now adult sons just a couple of days ago about SI. And I told him that SI had been crucial in saving our family and my sanity.

I stay so that I can offer hope and help lead people through this mess. I, too, am grateful for the support I’ve received and the wisdom that was imparted to JM from the WW forum.

For me personally, SI was a valid substitute for group therapy (my breakup happened right before the pandemic lockdown) and a crash-course on how to pull myself by the bootstraps for the first couple of months of the worst emotional shite.

Now I visit every few days and occasionally share some ideas here and there and treat it as a sort of repayment of my "debt to humanity" :-)

The kind users of SI held me up when I didn't have the strength to do so myself.

I suppose in a sense it restores your faith in people, after things have happened that made that necessary.

HikingOut wrote:

I would be divorced without this site, I am positive.

I am positive I would be divorced if it weren’t for HikingOut, BraveSirRobin, and other WW who were able to confirm through their experience that my WW’s story was at least plausible enough to give R a chance.

I suspect without SI that I would be clinically depressed (I have a personal and family history of it) and white knuckling a miserable false R with atrocious counselors convincing me to apologize to her for her philandering. Quite the living hell you all have helped steer me away from.

Without SI I think I would have blinked, felt I was waiting too long, and taken more dramatic and irreversible actions, due to hurt pride.

Instead you guys put me onto books like Not Just Friends, I was able to do my version of a 180, and it worked.