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5 Year D-Day-versary, and I'm Feeling Okay

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 ibonnie (original poster member #62673) posted at 8:58 PM on Thursday, November 24th, 2022

I don't remember the exact day of November that my D-Day fell on, just that I found out Thanksgiving morning 2017.

What's the range commonly mentioned on SI -- 2-5 years to feel better? 3-5? I guess today is five years out for me (give or take a few days), and while I don't feel sad or upset, I can still remember in vivid details how my morning started, going to my family's house and pretending I was okay, and telling my cousins I needed a post-meal nap before dessert, when in reality I just spent hours in their guest room by myself, in shock. The icing on top of the day was being stuck in traffic on the ride back home, whisper arguing with WS, and waking up our 8yo in the backseat. sad

Anyways. I'm looking forward to this day, and I honestly didn't think it would be possible. I thought it would forever be tainted, but after the last two years of pandemic precautions, this is the first time in almost two years I'll be seeing my aunt and uncle in person, and my kids will get to play with my cousin's kids.

If you celebrate today, I hope you have a good day with family/friends/good. If you don't celebrate, I hope you have a good day regardless.

XO, SI.

"I will survive, hey, hey!"

posts: 2031   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2018
id 8766614
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fareast ( Guide #61555) posted at 4:09 AM on Friday, November 25th, 2022

Congrats, and I hope you celebrated well today. Today is my 5th anniversary of joining this site. I recall your story beginning in early 2018. One of the first I read here. Despite the devastating impact of your WH’s infidelity, I recall you did remarkably well in taking positive steps to help your own long term healing, not the least of which was your separation. The AP was unstable and terribly insecure, and living together, the fantasy ended quickly, to the point that she became violent if I recall correctly. It seemed to me that you had a good sense of self. And here you are five years later. Many can learn from your example.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3353   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8766648
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 1:21 PM on Friday, November 25th, 2022

That's a great update!! So glad you are able to celebrate and enjoy Thanksgiving again. I hope you had a wonderful day!!

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3001   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8766685
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ISurvivedSoFar ( Guide #56915) posted at 1:30 PM on Friday, November 25th, 2022

This is a fantastic update and brilliant taking back this day for joyful memories rather than bad ones. I'm so glad you can look back and not allow the activities of 5 years ago to ruin this year's event. Five years ago that seemed impossible, didn't it?

DDay Nov '16
Me: BS, a.k.a. MommaDom, Him: WS
2 DD's: one adult, one teen,1 DS: adult
Surviving means we promise ourselves we will get to the point where we can receive love and give love again.

posts: 2834   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2017
id 8766688
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 3:27 PM on Friday, November 25th, 2022

This is an excellent update. So glad you shared.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades - Children (1 still at home) Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBS 2018 Cease & Desist sent spring 2021"Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3572   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8766695
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