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Reconciliation :
Stupid triggers

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 Ladybugmaam (original poster member #69881) posted at 11:15 PM on Wednesday, May 4th, 2022

That is all....stupid triggers. Nothing in particular, just cumulative stuff....running into A people I don't really want to see in passing. They're people....not tigers anymore....but still triggering. FWH has had an epic man flu....not covid, thankfully.....but feel crappy doesn't help him to be around for us.....I should be grateful that he is around, but it has been a week without all the little things he does that show me where he is. I feel horrible for saying that. He's sick. But, without those little things, and him being sick.....I'm like "in sickness and in health"....F-that.....you didn't give me that. I'm angry. I've been here....made the chicken soup and all. It is so stupid. I feel like an epic child right now. 3 years out, I know he's frustrated that I'm not over this....I'm not completely. It days like this that I want to just tap out. I know I don't really want a D, but I also know that this is SO hard somedays. I just know that he didn't want to be with me....and it makes me want to bolt, cut and run, kick him out, start fresh, move abroad....IDK....just escape this. Tomorrow, I'm sure I'll feel better. He handled it like a man with the flu....and then apologized. Was, super defensive....because man-flu....and I'm also so wary that I'm going to be posting here again with another DDday. I don't REALLY think so, but WTAF do I know? Just a bad day.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 233   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8733614
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78monte ( member #72572) posted at 12:32 AM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

You're allowed as many bad days as you want.
Much of what you said resonates with me.
Just know, you're not alone on this journey. Many of us are traveling beside you in spirit.

posts: 2228   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2020   ·   location: Canada
id 8733620
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:51 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

How are you doing today?

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6035   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8735429
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LIYA13 ( member #62026) posted at 7:47 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

Youre definitely not alone.


When my H is unwell with the man-flu he acts like the world is about to end and he's literally dying. Such a drama queen if you ask me. Guess who ends up looking after him and the household and my children even though I may also be under the weather myself. ME! Ofcourse! Im like you at times I act like a total cow sometimes and say 'its all in your head' coz he used to say that to me during the A. So I just give it back. I know during that time of the 'fog' he didnt want to be with me. He was all ready to walk out on everything and divorce me. I was there for him through everything including when he had a major back operation and he was bed bound for nearly a year. I help him walk again. I managed to do it in sickness and health sticking by him and loving and comforting him. Why couldnt he? Just makes me so angry what a cold hearted punk he was. I too dont want a divorce as we have more good days than bad but I just cant help think of the pain now and then. These are just moments I have and they only last a moment. I am grateful for everything and where I am at the moment in life but I too sometimes cant help but feel angry. We are human so bound to happen. smile

posts: 110   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2017   ·   location: United Kingdom
id 8735452
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 Ladybugmaam (original poster member #69881) posted at 8:04 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

MUCH better now. But, boy those suckers build on each other in the worst way.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 233   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8735458
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:13 PM on Monday, May 16th, 2022

YES they do!!! I am happy to see you are doing better now smile . Thank you for letting us know grin .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6035   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8735548
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