This particular son was born addicted to crack cocaine. Adopted at two days old. Biracial in an otherwise all white family.
Lots of acting out. Always in trouble at school. Lots of drug use. Sold it. Stole H’s van and went out job riding at 14 or 15. Was arrested. Went to juvenile detention. Sent him to a wilderness program for 5 months or so. Didn’t really take. Kicked out of "alternative" school (using and selling drugs) and finally graduated high school from a community learning program.
Took my van and my husband‘s pain medication after a serious surgery. I called the police and they found my van parked in a nearby Walmart. When they were getting him out of the car to… I guess… arrest him, he ran. Thank God all of my H’s medications were still in the van. Lived somewhere else away from home because I don’t allow somebody running from the law to live in my home.
Came home and my police officer nephew talked him into turning himself in. Multiple problems with the law. Worst was breaking into a clinic and stealing a prescription pad, then writing a script for oxy. Pharmacist knew it was bogus and when he went back to pick it up cops were waiting for him. Did several months in jail for that.
Blew off probation. Moved in with girlfriend in nearby city. Girlfriend got pregnant. Son was shopping on Christmas Eve for his family and a patrol car was behind him at a red light. He panicked and took off. Wrecked his car. Lucky to get out of it alive. They found a gun under the front seat. He told me it wasn’t his, but later said that he had it because they lived in such a horrible part of town that he was trying to protect his family.
Charges in that city still pending. Finished probation from out town. Living life right. In a great place with new son. Then got pulled over for cutting somebody off too close, and they found the charges about the bank on his record.
I know you didn’t ask for all that, but it is the truth. As I read it over and over again, I can’t believe the picture it paints.
I was raised in a very conservative family. Faith a very important part of my life. Never drank, never smoked, never tried any type of drug. Voluntarily stayed away from any acquaintances who did. Never broke a law...hardly ever broke a rule.
I guess I have not lived my life well. I am in my third marriage. He is from a backwoods, podunk place and had a very abusive father. H is disabled. Adopted 3 kids with drug/alcohol issues from birth mothers. We are 15 years out from that thing which we do not speak of in this topic. Marriage is broken. I stay as caregiver. 3 adult sons live with us. All struggle with impulse control and anger. All love their dad and resent me.
Church was my outlet to stay sane. But now I don’t go out of an abundance of caution regarding my H’s health. Don’t want to get COVID and give it to him. He wouldn’t survive.
All this is why I say I don’t know how to survive this...that my son could be incarcerated for so long...missing so much of his son’s life...and for the remainder of my life.
Can’t find a counselor that I feel comfortable with.
I have been holding everything together for so long, and I’m afraid it is all coming apart.
Don’t know how to keep holding it all together.
[This message edited by WhatsRight at 12:45 PM, Saturday, October 9th]