Well I pushed through this and have to say it was generally motivating. I do not agree with some of the generalizations and broad stroke painting and I think he makes conclusions that he cannot logically draw and that would not hold up to scrutiny. In hindsight it followed the classic military approach of break you down, build you up. Below are my summary findings. First the bad, then the good.
Some more hilarious nonsense
- The cheating likely happened because you fell into (list of habits). Nonsense. Lots of talk about mating “programming”. Either you learn to manipulate your SO with the “right” answers or they will consider straying.
- The dating scene is all a crooked game. This is a little long to get into detail on. (To an extent I agree society will be society, but come on…)
- Women will intentionally test you by insulting you (especially early in a relationship). The “proper” way to respond is to be “funny and playful”. (Accepting the insult is weak. Standing up for yourself is probably a hissy fit).
- There are 2 and only 2 types of men. Providers and Lovers. (Technically a third which is the 2 combined).
- If you are asked to make a decision (like where to eat) and make suggestions that are repeatedly declined, the correct response is “I’m going X and if you aren’t ready I’m going without you”. She will respect you for taking charge. me big strong man unga bunga. He even calls this “good communication”
- If you are asked about noticing an attractive women you should respond with a joke about being in bed with her or some similar jealousy inducing response. “Man up and be honest”. Sounds healthy.
- If your wife is about to cheat she might ask if youre ok with her going out a lot. The correct answer is to CHECK THE B!$&H!!!! And tell her she should stay home. You man you own relationship. I’m not sure how to discern from this supposed behavior and a genuine question though.
- The winner in all relationships is the one with the least to lose. Remember it’s all a power struggle to psychologically manipulate your SO.
- Basically, you should become a player after your divorce. Players (lover type) are cool. Losers (provider type) get used and stepped on. People who tell you not to do this are doing so out of self-doubt or unhappiness.
The good content I found
- My very first point above (on the cause of the affair) is nonsense of course, but…it is a good list of unhealthy states to avoid or be aware of in your relationship.
- Try to talk to 5 people a day after your separation to get back “out there”. Briefly and non-committally. Just say something nice to a stranger and then end the conversation.
- The balance in your life and relationships is to be both nice and confident (independent).
- You should learn to recognize red flags in a long term partner and not compromise on them. It will inevitably come back to bite you no matter how good things feel now. Unfortunately the examples are a little machismo here and overly generalized, as you can probably see. But the point is, don’t ignore these signs or feelings.
- Cheating is the easy and chickenshit way out of a difficult situation. (Amen!)
- Keep busy to move on. Set new goals. Exercise your mind and your body. After your loss make a list of things you want to do and learn. Get started now. Take control and build a positive “snowball”
Mandatory Missions after divorce
1. Your health: Get in shape. Improve your health. Go to a Dr.
2. Your money: Beware of manic optimism(chasing wild financial dreams, starting a new business, etc) embrace your cheapness. Get out of debt. Take advantage of this time of financial freedom.
- Care less about dating. Focus on yourself and the rest will come. Realize your potential.
- Watch out for those who try to bring you down as you transition.
- Check your bad habits. Build good ones. (He says this takes 2 months)
- discipline = freedom (financial habits, health habits, and building relationships)
- Don’t lose yourself when you do find new relationships.
- An excess of comfort kills a man’s ambition and a woman’s sex drive. (Not sure how much I agree with this as such a broad stroke, but it is thought provoking).
- There’s no better time to start over than right now.
[This message edited by Maxwell354 at 8:33 AM, July 15th (Thursday)]