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Music

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Iamtrash posted 4/20/2021 15:56 PM

Pain demands to be felt. What are your go-to songs for acceptance, goodbye, whatever it may be?

This one is getting me today. Actually, the whole album is pretty brutal. Seems pretty on point for both WSs and BSs.

The Brilliant Dance by Dashboard Confessional

So this is odd,
The painful realization
That all has gone wrong
And nobody cares at all,
And nobody cares at all.
So you buried all your lover's clothes
And burned the letters lover wrote,
But it doesn't make it any better.
Does it make it any better?
And the plaster dented from your fist
In the hall where you had your first kiss
Reminds you that the memories will fade.
So this is strange,
Our sidestepping has come to be
A brilliant dance
Where nobody leads at all,
Where nobody leads at all.
And the picture frames are facing down
And the ringing from this empty sound
Is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
And thinking's just too much to ask
And you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.
Well, this is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
Yes, this is love for the first time.
And you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once
Before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

But itís ok to feel this. Itís ok to grieve.

[This message edited by Iamtrash at 12:10 PM, April 24th (Saturday)]

leavingorbit posted 4/20/2021 17:36 PM

Oh, IAT, yeah. Music helps. Thank you for sharing. Hereís one that helped us when we were really going through the bottoms. This song helped me realize that I finally wanted help. I hope your songs are helping you, too.

Open the curtains
Singing birds tell me
"Tear the buildings down"
You felt blessed to receive their pleasant sound
Things that break
Make you cringe inside yourself
There's a child counting stars in their time-out of their day
In the corners of their frame they're encased
In the losing of a grain of themselves
Pushed against the ebb and flow
Wave good-bye and watch it go

So show me the honest proper way
To disarm predatory gaze
That's sucking dry and never satiated
You've been misused
Been rewired
You're short-circuiting now
Just remember when you'd call me to come
Take a deep breath and then jump

So fragile are bodies
So concave, work in self-destructive ways

You shot from the hip and missed
Detaching from all of this
In physical pictures you remain
Spiral 'round yourself in figure-eight
I recoil at every new beginning

I searched for a way out
Don't we all?
An existentialist recall:
Turn in all, all dichotomies and truths that I gave
I felt wrong in many ways
It didn't heal
It just got harder everyday to be still
To be passing through the throes
In a daze
Feeling heavy
Feeling cold in my skin
In my hand-me-downs
I'm wearing everything thin
And the pills that you gave didn't do anything
I just slept for years on end

Well so if I call
Should I beg?
'Cause I'm desperate here
A couple steps from the edge
I can't seem to burn bright enough
I'm cold and I'm left alone
We're all alone
Grab a hold
I know I said to not
What the fuck do I know?
I had a chance to construct something beautiful and I choked
I choked
I choked
I choked

DaddyDom posted 4/20/2021 18:40 PM

Demi Lavato, at the 2020 Grammy's, singing "Anyone". That one rips my heart out.

I'm not allowed to post a link, so please just google it.

LifeDestroyer posted 4/20/2021 18:44 PM

Daddydom, absolutely that song!

Iamtrash posted 4/20/2021 21:41 PM

Listen to your ďletting goĒ song on repeat, have a good cry, reminisce for a moment, then pull it together.

Itís the end of the chapter. Not the end of the book.

ff4152 posted 4/21/2021 06:16 AM

While not a huge fan, Avril Lavigne's "Slipped AwayĒ gets me every time.

[This message edited by ff4152 at 6:19 AM, April 21st (Wednesday)]

Chaos posted 4/21/2021 06:24 AM

I have to go old school on this one.

Simon and Garfunkel. I am a Rock.

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island
I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock
I am an island
Don't talk of love
Well I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island
And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries

QuitOrNotToQuit posted 4/21/2021 08:59 AM

There are so many.....

Here is one of them

Paint it Black
By Rolling Stones

I see a red door
And I want it painted black
No colors anymore
I want them to turn black


I see the girls walk by
Dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head
Until my darkness goes


I see a line of cars
And they're all painted black
With flowers and my love
Both never to come back


I've seen people turn their heads
And quickly look away
Like a newborn baby
It just happens everyday


I look inside myself
And see my heart is black
I see my red door
I must have it painted black


Maybe then, I'll fade away
And not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up
When your whole world is black


No more will my green sea
Go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing
Happening to you

If I look hard enough
Into the setting sun
My love will laugh with me
Before the morning comes


I see a red door
And I want it painted black
No colors anymore
I want them to turn black


I see the girls walk by
Dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head
Until my darkness goes


I wanna see it painted
Painted black
Black as night
Black as coal
I wanna see the sun
Blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted
Painted black, yeah

Iamtrash posted 4/21/2021 14:21 PM

I want to fast forward this. Be a year out or more.

Underserving posted 4/21/2021 14:29 PM

Um I love Dashboard! I still listen to that album all the time.

ďAnd the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee,
The places that you've come to fear the most,
Is the place that you have come to fear the most.Ē

Those are some of my favorite lyrics of all time.

My song after d-day was Dead Flowers by Miranda Lambert

I feel like the flowers in this vase
He just brought 'em home one day, "Ain't they beautiful?" he said
They been here in the kitchen and the waters turnin' gray
They're sittin' in the vase but now they're dead, dead flowers

I feel like this long string of lights
They lit up our whole house on Christmas Day
But now it's January and the bulbs have all burned out
But still they hang like dead flowers

He ain't feelin' anythin'
My love, my hurt or the sting of this rain
I'm livin' in a hurricane
All he can say is, "Man ain't it such a nice day?"
Yeah, yeah

I feel like the tires on this car
You said they won't go far but we're still rollin'
I look in the rear view and I see dead flowers in the yard
And that string of lights and it ain't glowin'
Like dead flowers, like dead flowers

He ain't feelin' anythin'
My love, my hurt or the sting of this rain
I'm drivin' through a hurricane
All he can say is, "Man ain't it such a nice day?"
Hey, hey, I guess we'll just go to waste
Like dead flowers
Like dead flowers
Dead flowers

EllieKMAS posted 4/21/2021 14:51 PM

I want to fast forward this. Be a year out or more.
I felt like this too. But I will say for me now with the benefit of hindsight, I learned SO much about myself going through all of this. And even though I did not really like HOW I learned all that stuff, I am very glad to have done so. Just take it a day at a time IaT.

Iamtrash posted 4/21/2021 16:35 PM

I keep hoping today will be the day the pain lets up. Still no end in sight. When do you start to find you new normal and accept it?

That whole album, I love it. But I donít think itís the best for my mood today. I might need to put in Disneyís greatest hits or something forcibly positive when I go out.

Underserving posted 4/21/2021 17:34 PM

Have you heard Pinks new song with her daughter? My kids love it, and itís my current ďhappy song.Ē

JBWD posted 4/21/2021 18:13 PM

On the topic-
I felt A LOT of feels over the past year. And I have ALWAYS been a music lover/devourer.

But I had to address something very difficult as I spent time alone last year- a lot of it.

What I discovered when I really started to examine the whys and timing of when I would start to get weepy and throw on something emotionally wrenching- I was FORCING a reaction. That reaction was a response to the fear of quiet moments, a fear that I had stoked with intense emotions- Lust, despair, anger, rage, regret- my entire life.

I realized, as I stopped to really dissect why I did this, that I could stop surrendering to these emotions. Iíll repeat a piece of wisdom from Pema Chodron that has been key for me-
The value of mindfulness is that we can allow emotions to simply visit us... and then be on their way.

I didnít really connect with my emotions until getting into 12 Steps and consistent meditation, but what I have since learned is that my emotions donít HAVE to be overpowering. I have in fact learned that there is a lot to be discerned from the increased awareness of the everyday: By LOOKING LESS for tangible, heavy emotion, I have FOUND MORE of the nuances of my daily emotions, and I have more available space for joy and fulfillment.

I still love music and still have songs that really get me. But if/when Iím already feeling vulnerable/on edge, I will consciously avoid such songs.

Iamtrash posted 4/21/2021 19:09 PM

I havenít heard the song, UD.

Yeah. I made a decision to not keep Dash on. Only positive songs. The random snowstorm doesnít help. My happy place is in my car, sun out, Windows down, music at max, and a pair of shades to hide behind. I can feel myself trying to be down. Itís not going to help me. Iím ready for summer. Being outside in the sunshine is helpful.

I also didnít sleep well. Thatís a precursor to depression and anxiety consuming me.

Underserving posted 4/21/2021 20:22 PM

Iím so sorry you are having such a rough time.

Keep it up listening to those positive songs. Lack of sleep affects me in the worst ways too. I hope youíre able to get some much needed rest soon.

You will make it through this. This pain wonít last forever.

Iamtrash posted 4/22/2021 19:40 PM

Even though pain doesnít last forever, itís hard to see that now. Especially this sort of pain. It has grown, evolved. I feel like I have regressed mentally and emotionally. I havenít slept in days. Iím exhausted, sad, and ready to give up on everything. Iím tired of hurting. Iím tired of being told what my affair was and what it meant to me. Iím tired of living this nightmare. (Again, I accept this is my fault. No need for sympathy.) Iím tired of feeling stupid for cheating and stupid to think I could right this.

Iamtrash posted 4/22/2021 20:05 PM

Probably also not a good one for me to listen to tonight, but it fits.

Say Something by A Great Big World

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere, I would have followed you
Ooh, ooh say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something

[This message edited by Iamtrash at 12:11 PM, April 24th (Saturday)]

ChamomileTea posted 4/22/2021 22:10 PM

Bluegrass is life if you ask me. There's so much that's universal in it. For redemption though, you can't beat...Ricky Skaggs - Enjoy the Ride You can find it online pretty readily if you look. It's from Brand New Strings.

Another day, another chance
To right the wrongs, begin again
All you can do is do your best
Shake off the past, forgive yourself
It's just the world we're living in
Not many saints too many sins
You're not alone, we're all inclined
To slip and fall and cross the line
We live and learn with each mistake
To get back up, thank God for grace
Lift up your chin, brush off the dust
And wash your hands off the things you've done
Sometimes you fall, sometimes you fly
It's only life, enjoy the ride
As long as you have air to breathe
Then you have all the time you need
To give your love for all it's worth
And make amends to those you've hurt
This is your life for heaven's sake
Redeem yourself and thank God for grace
Lift up your chin, brush off the dust
And wash your hands off the things you've done
Sometimes you fall, sometimes you fly
It's only life, enjoy the ride
Sometimes you fall, sometimes you fly
It's only life, enjoy the ride
It's only life, enjoy the ride
Another day, another chance

It might be too late for your marriage, IAT. But it's not too late for you and it's not too late for HM. You both have lots of years and lots of potential for happiness ahead.

66charger posted 4/23/2021 10:00 AM

For both of you. Let it be.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
,

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