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carlcwc (original poster new member #75634) posted at 8:46 PM on Thursday, November 26th, 2020
My ex has. Accused me of awful things via text, how is the best way to respond to these accusations please,
I have a thread in JFO ,I need to update , but got hospitalised so have not had time to update the thread,
Any replies appreciated
[This message edited by carlcwc at 2:47 PM, November 26th (Thursday)]
ZenMumWalking ( Guide #25341) posted at 9:05 PM on Thursday, November 26th, 2020
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
AnnieOakley ( member #13332) posted at 9:19 PM on Thursday, November 26th, 2020
Assume that every text could end up before a lawyer or judge. So crickets is the best. Otherwise something along the lines of stating that it is a lie or completely untrue and to please quit sending these types of accusations. Don’t argue or engage further. No name calling, etc.
Me= BSHim=xWH (did the work & became the man I always thought he was, but it was too late)M=23+,T=27+dday=7/06, 8/09 (pics at a work function), 11/09 VAR, 6/12 Sep'd, 10/14 Divorced."If you are going through hell, keep going."
nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 10:26 PM on Thursday, November 26th, 2020
The best, most powerful response is no response at all.
Crickets.
Nothing.
Silence.
It's hard to resist but silence speaks volumes.
Write out your reply here and post it but DON't reply!!
Me - happy!
2 DDs
Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:37 PM on Thursday, November 26th, 2020
There are two options I would undertake.
If she accused of things that could legally get you into trouble like, as an example, she texted “I know you cheated on your taxes in 2017 - I would ignore her but maybe a one word response - untrue -is sufficient.
If she texted you things like you were a raging maniac during our marriage - I would tell her that you will block her if she sends any texts like this again.
I don’t know if you have children but there are apps you can use for contact between parents regarding children. This way she does not have to contact you directly. And you don’t have to be bothered by her craziness.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.
fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 2:34 AM on Friday, November 27th, 2020
Nada.
Zilch.
Crickets! Are the best!
If an ex-WW screeches lies in a text, and no one responds, does it make it true?
[This message edited by fareast at 10:57 PM, November 26th (Thursday)]
Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 4:03 AM on Friday, November 27th, 2020
Turn copies of everything over to your attorney
No reply to her.
skeetermooch ( member #72169) posted at 4:48 AM on Friday, November 27th, 2020
You don't have to respond. What's she going to do give her texts to you to a judge with no response from you? It's evidence of nothing that you aren't defending yourself in her personal court of crazy.
She's frantically trying to get you to engage - don't take the bait.
Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021
Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 1:49 PM on Friday, November 27th, 2020
Is the separation agreement done?
Definitely store the texts but I would not answer them.
I would however look at the messages and evaluate if there is any way or form a basis for her comments, and/or if there can be legal or other consequences.
For example:
If she says she ended the relationship because you were unattentive, got bald or ate boogers then definitely NO reply. Crickets.
If she made accusations like you sexually abused the children… Well… I would definitely not reply, but I would be talking to a solicitor ASAP.
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus
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