"WHY are you willing to do this now? With the hope to reconcile? Or are you trying to help me with my inner turmoil?"
Honestly, I think it’s because of the inner demons he’s fighting. I think he figures once he’s honest some of the guilt/shame he is carrying around will go away.
I think maybe you're giving this guy too much credit. After cheating and lying to you for three YEARS, he's finally busted. And instead of throwing himself on your mercy and begging for a chance to make it right, he finds an apartment and files for divorce practically overnight. This guy is a walking example of DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) who has turned the tables on you. He's victimized by "all the damage", and now it's on you to pursue him in order to try and save the marriage.
Honestly, I don't think I'd cooperate with that. What's the point in him answering your questions when clearly he's NOT sorry for what he's done. People who are sorry and who love their spouse and who want to save the marriage don't file for divorce. His mouth might move, but his ACTIONS reveal the truth.
I'll be honest with you. My own DDay was almost six years ago. On that day, I told my WH I was divorcing him and that I didn't want to talk about it. I wasn't going to listen to his apologies or his excuses. I didn't care about the details. We were done. He could split the banking and I'd go find us a lawyer. Of course, he immediately contacted his latest OW and started whining to her, but.. he was also doing the math. After confrontation, I pretty much ignored him, but within a week, it was him asking ME for time to prove himself.
R doesn't work when the WS is setting the terms. In the beginning, the BS needs to be in the one-up and the WS needs to be learning to respect new boundaries. If you have a sincere WS, in time, new trust and respect can be built. After that, the relationship would become equal again. There's a climbing back up phase that can't be ignored, because when it is, the WS doesn't do the work it takes to repair their broken character. He has to rise up to your level, not you lowering yourself to his.
DARVO puts the onus on you to make things right for him, not the other way around. I think if it were me, I wouldn't bother meeting him for a Q and A. I'd tell, "What's the point? You're clearly NOT sorry for what you've done. If you were, you'd be trying to make things right, not filing for divorce. If you decide to pull your head out of your ass, let me know."
We say around here that "you have to be willing to risk the marriage in order to have a chance at saving it". Boiled down, what that means is that you need the upper hand. You're in a power struggle that you need to win, even if it ends in divorce. Otherwise, you're stuck with an unrepentant cheater who never changes, and THAT is an unacceptable fate.
Remember that YOU are the prize here. He might feel like he's in the catbird seat right now deciding between two lovers. But he hasn't realized that YOUR life will move on as well, and that one day, YOU will have other lovers and maybe another husband. You could have heard a pin drop when I told my WH that I actually did intend to enjoy an emotionally and sexually intimate relationship again, and that if it wasn't with him, it would be with someone else.
The WS is often so wrapped up in his own version of reality that he doesn't think very clearly. My WH thought I'd "be alone forever". Unbeknownst to me at the time, he'd actually written that to one of the OW. He was shocked when I disabused him of that notion, and jealous.
My advice to you would be to continue on with your attorney. Get the settlement that YOU want along with the child custody arrangements in YOUR favor. Call your WH out on his shit. Tell him that you recognize DARVO when you see it and that HE is not the victim here. Tell him that you KNOW he's not sorry because you can see it in his ACTIONS. Go ahead and let your temper show. The guy is treating you like you just fell off the turnip truck. Put his back against the wall until he's sputtering out his excuses. Make him give you an answer as to WHY he filed for divorce and then CALL HIM ON HIS BULLSHIT. Leave the ball in his court, he knows where to find you if he ever wants to pull his head out of his ass. Make it clear to him that you're NOT going to chase him and that if he doesn't want this divorce, he better dig deep and find a way to make it right.
Right now, he's got the upper hand in the power dynamic. Once that's changed, you'll have a better idea as to whether he's willing to work. Reverse his DARVO and fly it back in his face. You've got nothing to lose right now but a cheater who's telling you clearly that he's too lazy to work on it.